Wonderful Definitions
*School:* A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
*
**Life Insurance:* A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you
can die Rich.
*
**Nurse:* A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
*
**Marriage:* It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and
a woman gains her masters.
*Tears:* The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower.
*
**Lecture:* An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
either"
*
**Conference:* The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
*
**Compromise:** *The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
*
**Dictionary:* A place where success comes before work.
*
**Conference Room:* A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
*
**Father:* A banker provided by nature.
*
Criminal:* A guy no different from the rest.... except that he got caught.
*
Boss:* Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
*
Politician:* One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence
after.
*
Doctor:* A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
*
Classics:* Books, which people praise, but do not read.
*
Smile:* A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
*Office:* A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
*
Yawn:* The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.
*
Etc.:* A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.
*
Committee:* Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
*
Experience:* The name men give to their mistakes.
*
Atom Bomb:* An invention to end all inventions.
*
Philosopher:* A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise
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