Instant question: what is your load?  Why separate servers?
You're adding a lot of complexity by insisting on that.

My load at the moment is not that huge, I think I get a couple hundred emails a day, most of them are spam even with my current spam solution in place.

As for wanting separate servers, mainly for upgradeability. If I want/need another SMTP relay, I don't really want to install all the spam/av stuff on it and same for the datastore.

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