People, I am deeply concerned that our younger readership doesn't "get" Moscow.
This is evidenced by the alarming influx of recent postings "if I was in HR/retail/just looking/PR" how much should I expect in "salary"? Salary?!! Are you people out of your minds? Have you no Russian work ethic? Am I using too many "?" in this paragraph? Yes. Yes, I am. Salary. Please. I am embarrassed for you [well... and for crazy Donald, but that's another posting]. That is NOT how business activity is done in Russia. Ok, since as they say that to truly understand Russia you have to either spend less than 3 days or more than 3 years here, let me try to make the helping of the understanding of bizness Russia. I assume that you are bringing your Vacheron Constantine watch with you and are emotionally prepared to be best friends with the guy who was the oligarch's best friend's gym partner back in middle school. Hint, that's about 33% of the guys in Coffee mania or Vogue. If you are coming to do bizness in the Russia, you have to understand that this is one country that does not tolerate the slothful, lazy, or the unfocused. Russia is a meritocracy. Think of succeeding here as planning for a triathlon. The prep. You need business plan, yes? Yes. Umm... something original... oooh, I got it... oil and gas. Now something that doesn't get your hands dirty... umm.... I got it... find a cheap field, get money from an oligarch to buy it and sell it for a lot of money! This is a good and original idea. You take it from me. Have you seen the people on the Metro in Moscow? I don't want to be mean to anyone, but... you look at them and CLEARLY they don't know the value of their oil fields. Sport 1: Noo-nish or one-ish to five-ish: business strategy planning and networking. You have to be at your peak. You may have to do the whole El Dabaran - Vogue - Fresco (more early dinner than lunch, but...) - Coffee Mania - Sunrise cafe (is that the right name, the one near the oktyabrski movie theater) lap in ONE day. Ask are you man enough for Russia? Can you face a $14 teapot (without tea leaves) in Coffee Mania without flinching? Do you feel the urge to stare at the female denizens of these establishments and admire the amount (sheer volume and cunning) of the discount plastic surgery performed on them? Sport 2: 11pmish to throw-upish: business strategy planning and networking. GQ - Pavilion - Leto - First... you and your new found friends and partners can now enter into serious bizness negotiations. The 17 year old model [from Omsk, Arhangelsk or Starosobakino] that you just made with the habit... wait a second, folks, I MEANT "WORK habit", so behave yourselves... will translate for you. Yes? Is good. You are on track. Try the $6 per dumpling dumplings at GQ. You can order each one individually, but then again that's why they cost $6 each. If it's 06:00 and you are at Garage, your business is almost certain to succeed. Sport 3: roughly 08:00-11:00: business strategy planning and corporate retreat. Look for following symptoms of bizness success: I think it's Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat, Sunday morning. I want to and need to die. I have never felt this bad. These are good signs in bizness Russia. It means that you are integrating into the community. Good luck, and I hope that I was at least of some help. If you are asking yourself why the above plan doesn't include the word "work" anywhere in there, well... that would be your fault. You just don't get it. Oh yeah, I forgot the meritocracy part. What DO your parents do for a living? Because, everything else might just not matter. PS. If you feel that the above method isn't working, do what many, many, many, many members of our community do... give it time. Meet at Night Flight with fellow expats to discuss flaws in Russian business and work ethic. Give it, like a year or two. Bon chance. If you don't understand or use my plan or at least send me money, I feel bad for you, like I feel bad for the guy who told me that my Vertu is a 3 year old phone that lacks modern functionality like Wi Fi. Wi Fi?!!! He is idiot! My 20 year old Puar tea, gathered by blind, post menopausal, left handed nuns in a hail storm is getting cold... gotta goooooooooo, networking to do. _______________________________________________ Expat mailing list [email protected] http://www.lists.ru/mailman/listinfo/expat http://www.expat.ru/forum/
