SHE PROBABLY WHISTLES IN THE WIND: Heather Perry, 29, decided she had found a cure for her myalgic encephalomyelitis -- "which leaves sufferers feeling permanently exhausted" -- but doctors near her home in Gloucester, England, refused to implement it. Perry decided that drilling a hole in her head, a headache treatment from the Middle Ages known as trepanation, would do the trick. Faced with doubting British doctors, she flew to the U.S. for a consultation. American doctors wouldn't help either, but gave her some "medical advice," so she performed the procedure on herself in front of a mirror. Despite drilling too deeply and nearly puncturing her brain, "I have no regrets," she said. "I generally feel better and there's definitely more mental clarity." (Reuters) ...No one doubts you have a problem with mental clarity, dear. WHAT? Deo Dubbs, 88, of Sarasota, Fla., has been arrested in a drug sweep, police say. Dubbs admits experimenting with drugs -- "I really have nothing else to do. I get lonely and get tired of watching the tube," he says -- and was arrested after allegedly buying two rocks of crack cocaine. He even carefully negotiated the price down with the undercover officer, police say. "I'm pretty well thought of at the Senior Friendship Center," Dubbs says, though the arrest may "spoil whatever reputation I have." That's the least of his worries: he faces a $5,000 fine and up to five years in prison if he's convicted. (AP) ...Buddy, if you think the tube is boring, wait until your cellmate dictates what channel you watch. HOW? Presidential hopeful George W. Bush is following in his father's footsteps in more ways than one -- by following in his verbal missteps. Appearing at an elementary school in Nashua, N.H., he told students "This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. This is what you do when you run for president. You've got to preserve." The students were actually observing "Perseverance Month". At another campaign stop, he told voters about growing up during the Cold War. "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world and you knew exactly who 'they' were. It was us versus them and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there." (Reuters) ..."The most important question to ask about education is, 'Is your children learning?'" --G.W. Bush -- ----------- Nil Carborundum Illegitimi http://andysocial.com
