Thanks, I've made some changes based on what you said. Dan
On Sun, May 30, 2010 at 11:14 AM, Harold Hausman <[email protected]> wrote: > Hello, > > The paper appears interesting, valuable, and for the most part well > written. I only had time to look over the first 5 pages this morning, > but perhaps some of these notes will be helpful as you polish the > paper... If this is useful I can try to look at the rest later. > > In the abstract: "Factor's metaprogramming features have allowed it to > implement..." The word "it" here is weird, what is "it" referring to? > Factor? Did Factor implement anything? Perhaps "us" would be better? > Or just rewrite the whole sentence. > > In the introduction: "It was originally conceived as an experiment to > create ... which is ...", mixing 'was' and 'is' like this is bad. Are > we in the past or present tense? > > "One of our goals is to make Factor suitable for development of larger > applications, ..." replace with: "The inclusion of a robust module > system makes Factor suitable for the development of larger > applications" > > "Factor has extensive support for low-level..." This sentence is a > run-on. Split it into at least two separate sentences. Perhaps at "... > C and other languages. This allows for ..." > > "A system for staged metaprogramming, offering flexibility and ease of > use" replace with "A flexible and easy to use staged metaprogramming > system. > > Figures 1 and 2 are placed very goofily at the top of page two, > uncheck noob in MacTex or pass -no-noob to LaTex. ;) > > "(cite something about row polymorphism)" <-- Make sure you actually do this. > > It's unfortunate that figure 6 appears on a different page than the > description of what it's doing. > > In Lexical Variables: "low rate of use" is weird, maybe "infrequent > use" would be better? > > In Object System: "(methods)" replace with "..., called methods, ..." > > Regards, > -Harold > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Factor-talk mailing list > [email protected] > https://lists.sourceforge.net/lists/listinfo/factor-talk > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _______________________________________________ Factor-talk mailing list [email protected] https://lists.sourceforge.net/lists/listinfo/factor-talk
