>From my side the smoking, drinking and drugging were my ways of acting out my beliefs. In other words the behavior was the indication of a deeper problem. I spent 12 years in a Big Kids ALANON group where many of the beliefs that caused the behavior came to light. Once the belief was out in the open it became apparent why the behavior was occurring and how I could change the belief system operating. Just one way of going out through the bottom of the addictive process. I also found the book "When Society becomes an Addict" by Ann Marie Schief to be an excellent source book on how our entire society reinforces addictive behavior. Also, The Work of Byron Katie (thework.com) is very helpful once the belief system causing the behavior is smoked out of hiding (pun intended). In reading her classic "Loving What Is" it became apparent to me that I still have many belief systems operating that are just subtle addictions and really don't serve me any better than my gross addictions. The best to you in this quest. It is a hard road and it can grind your soul. One final thought is that your TM practice may have lead you into "The Dark Night of the Soul" as found by St John of the Cross. That is a hard place to be and again the only way out of that is through the bottom. If you wish we can continue this discussion off line. Tom T
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