Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: I would like to try an experiment in compassion

[rudra_joe]

If you are a chef in the New Orleans inner city we interacted with a little heat on your part some years ago on another site.     ----Yeah, sorry bout that. Can't really remember what is was about now.    You ask for prayers to help with your addictions. That is a good start. I have a friend who says her addictions started when as a child of 6 she became the sexual reward in the neighbour's game of cards. Sweets, obesity and then amphetamines to keep slim during her modelling career. There is probably nothing you can imagine she didn't do to excess during some 50 years of addictive behaviour including over 1,000 sex partners, several suicide attempts. Sinking into degradation to silence the howl of feeling she was dirt.     ---my addictions started in sixth grade health class when they told us about drugs and the police even brought real ones into class to show us kids. It affected me deeply that we could change our state of consciousness with these interesting things.  -And the health book just went on about how lsd makes you see groovy things that aren't there, and speed kills but makes you exult, and downers, like having a couple drinks but alot easier. And so on.  I actively sought out every type of drug experience after that. I was really good at what I called maintaining and still am. I can be totally inebriated and it's hard for anyone to tell. I used to sit with Paul Prudhomme while he was giving lectures, and I was so wasted, and yet, with some visine, gum, and being clean shaven nobody on Earth could tell. So as you said, the wily mind makes all sorts of excuses to continue into the second or third decade of dope abuse. Because I always got away with it and was also functional I partied on.  I would continue to do so but the lungs get old, and the money is running out, and I need something else. She is now not only a model of sobriety but a cheerful ebullient personality that radiates intelligent humour and a great zest for being alive, but still with problems that she deals with daily. She wouldn't have succeeded without addiction counselling with a wise man (who also happens to do TM) and her group of fellow addicts who are supportive of each other.   ----Not sure I can go there having been to many counselors as a kid and having much real antipathy to the whole idea. One counselor I had used to try to get me as angry as possible just to get me to open up. He was always saying, you think you're so omni potent, so omni scient, and so on. I hated him so much that some weird poltergeist phenomenon happened on the day I just refused to ever see him again. Some flourescent light bulbs flew off the roof when I yelled at him and told him never again. It was weird.  Then group therapy and finally a nice chick that I liked even though I used to call her pay-friend. She never gave me good advice but she was good at getting me to cry and then she would hug me. That felt nice back then.  Sometimes she had me believing that something good was happening for about three minutes after I left. She says there is nothing anyone can do until an addict REALLY wants to quit, that an addictive mind is really cunning and manipulative and crafty about remaining addictive. My own advice. Turn the addictive disorder first into something positive like health and fitness. Exercise that makes you sweat. My own predilection is Taoist Internal Arts see www.esotericarts.org for what I do and my essays. But something that makes you sweat, something that gives you pride in your physicality. And seek wise counselling.   ---I'm thinking business. My friend ruined most of her family relations and has had to deal with such immense guilt.   ---My family is basically intact with little knowledge of my real nature.  Further to the sensible advice not to start a family, Jung pointed out that anything in your unconscious undealt with you hand over lock stock and barrel to your children.   ---Life is fucked. Generally all the family of addicts also need counselling.   ----yeah, I can see that, but it ain't gonna happen because I am a counselors worst fucking nightmare. Good luck. Love, David   Thanks Bro. Appreciate it! To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ADVERTISEMENT Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/   To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED]   Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.