Subject: [FairfieldLife]
Re: Deceiving ourselves
Patrick,
Thats an interesting, thought-provoking article.
The cunumdrum is like
the paradox of fish -- they are surrounded by
water, but don't notice
water because thats what is always there. Or like
a complex loop,
built on layers and layers of deception,
genetically refined over
time: we are skillfully programmed to both deceive
and to not see the
deception. Or if we get through layer one, there
is always layer two. ...
Think about two major areas of secular life: work
and relations. The
successful, and thus those that typically breed
more and/or their
offspring have higher survival rates and future
propogation rates --
are um, good, smooth BSers.
How many couiples, dating, go straight for
honesty? In i) presenting
themselves ("how long can I keep up this
facade til he/she figures out
who i really am. Well, this new suit or car may
help throw them off
guard." ), ii) providing feedback to
the other ("you look gorgeous."
"you are SUCH a good lover" ), and
iii) privately evaluating
therelationship ("I think this might be the
ONE!!".
And once in a relationship, does deception
decrease? Deception can
certainly bring stability to the relationship --
and thus increase the
chances for propagating progeny: "Honey do
these slacks make my butt
look big?" "NO!!!!!, They make your ass
look petite and hot and
totally sexy, You look like you are 18 yr
olds".
In business, law, service professions -- the
ability to spin, paint
the partial truth in dazzling ways -- foregoing
the deeper reality --
is a hallmark of success. Charlie L. used to tell
the story of making
his sales calls (he sold cement) with a bright
young apprentice. After
some discussion of the merits of his
product, Charlie closed the
sale. Thr apprentice said to the customer, "
You know that is such a
wise decision Mr. X. You know our competitor's
product has xyz and
ours doesn't but you overlooked that because you
like our service. The
customer began to waiver and aked questions about
xys. Charlie grabbed
the signed contract and hussled the apprentice and
he out of the
customers office.
While the school of Professional
Selling, which sincerely tries to
understand and meet the customers' need, still
ends up employing spin
and deception, in smooth ways, to put the product
or deal in the best
light. And of course the seller, promoter,
presenter, etc, rationalize
their subtle slight of hand as being whats best
for the company,
goodfor society, etc.
Service professionals whose income is based on
client sessions --
whether its a doctor, psychologist, ski isntrucor,
yoga instructor,
contractor, etc, will always face a grey line when
asked to recommend
if more or less sevices are best.
Higher dating and relations success, coupled with
higher work success
and thus, often higher incomes, are two driving
factors in successful
propigation -- and ensuring the propigation sucess
of ones progeny.
Go down this path for 10, 100, 1000 generations
and you can see how
deception may well be so inately wired into our
system, its hard to
even see the water.
Thats one reason I think a sharp and
discriminating use of intellect
is useful, if not vital. It won't in itself bring
higher realiations,
but it can get you closer to the door by helping
to seperate the wheat
from the chaff, and to keep the charlatans at bay.
Akasha,
You make lots of good points.
Regarding the ethics of dishonesty, your
examples might consist of two separate categories. Shmoozing or falsely complimenting
someone for profit is probably on the low end of the harm-to-another scale,
where misrepresenting your product or your service for profit is on the high
end of the scale. Inversely, one could categorize the two strategies on a
wisdom scale. Shmoozing is usually consequence-free (wise); misrepresenting is
asking for trouble in the long run (unwise). Harmful = stupid.
Of course, “spin” would
include both overt lying and strategic omission, and a whole plethora of other
techniques that would need to be sorted into categories. (Omission is not
misrepresentation; lying is.)
The “honesty” subject is
interesting and has lots more territory to cover. But I’m not sure a
whole lot of this is directly related to self-deception.
-Mark
