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I'll be candid, not that anyone
would know otherwise. About five years back I started buying very intense
strands of rudraksha. At the time I was chef at a small joint, and I was always
totally wasted. Drunk, railing, weeded, on pain killers galore like methadones
and morphines that my boss gave me. Man I was so wasted. It was fun, needless to
say. But I knew that I had to get it straight and so I started with a
strand of rudraksha with 9 9 mukhi 10 10 mukhi, one 1 mukhi and another mala of
small 3 mukhi . I started wearing them around the clock. Needless to
say I started reawakening then. And then I bought so many more malas that to
tell which would take me another hour. Now most people know that rudraksha
according to their own scriptures are the very form of the devas themselves upon
earth in a natural bead. Well knowing that the devas were upon my flesh I
started getting their vibe, but I couldn't stop doing what I was doing.
Uuntil I got fired the day before 9/11. That shook me up and it took me
two months after 9/11 to find another job. During that time I did a hundred
thousand or so japs to Mahalakshmi and She opened my eyes and my mind. I
got alot accomplished that year.
That was at the time that Maharishi
raised the prices. It was really bizarre because right then I wanted to
volunteer to help the movement, and I was going to go try to get poor people to
learn it. The TM center told me straight up I was wasting my time here in
New Olreans trying to get anyone to learn. They bummed me out. During
marathon chanting sessions to Mahalakshmi I would get these upswellings of rage
at Maharishi that I never had before, and you all got to read them. The
same thing still happens when I chant to Her, so this is why I knew the pricing
move was not a "deep decision on the part of the laws of nature" (from Bevan's
ass) but rather complete and total bullshit egoic overstepping money lust.
But the rudraksha cut through all
the ignorance, to wit, God was with me through everything no matter what I
did. It was my own obscurations that were the problem, not anything God
did or didn't do. It was what I did or didn't do. I could get the
darshan not that I deserved, because I certainly didn't deserve jack shit, but
that I worked to get. I owe my rudrakshas my sense of tantra, and they
were cheap compared to some million dollar courses of speciousness. And so
I realized that God is caring and there for everyone. For me the darshan came
through my beads, for you maybe through something else, for them maybe a million
dollars worth of light and shadows. Not for me to judge. My point is this -
there are many ways to the goal. For many differnt types of people. And
one needn't be all that great, merely open. That's it.
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- Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: question for jane Llundrub
- Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: question for jane Peter Sutphen
