--- In [email protected], "lurkernomore20002000" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Having snappy repartee in a bar and thinking oneself very > > clever and maybe destined to get lucky, is simply aggrand- > > izement by an elitist of the leverage tools he's able to > > command. It takes a ton of time and dedication to even > > begin to get a handle on relationship and honesty. > > To hang around bars and just do the easy stuff is so > > superficial, so egoic, so outer directed, and it's so > > wildass goofy to expect that bar hopping as a bard is a > > lifestyle that will serve up much profit for the soul. > > I got to admit, I think Edg may have hit upon something here. > Turq does seem to spend a lot of time in this envirnoment, > in this mode.
While you are welcome to your opinion, I'll offer mine. Those who rag on bars and "bar conversations" and put them down in my experience haven't had any experiences of their own in a long time. In fact, if you check, the raggers have often not had *any* real face-to-face conversations with strangers in a long time. They just sit back and type words on Internet screens and think that they're having "conversations." I've done that, too, especially in Sauve where there were no good bars, and it's not the same. As I'm sure Curtis would agree, face-to-face is a different world, and a different league to play in. And yes, there *are* some who see bars and bar conversations as a way to puff up their egos and impress people, but really, dude...WHY would you ever hang out in a bar like that? Especially when, if you just kept looking, in a happening outlaw town like Sitges there is a better bar down the street where the patrons never get drunk...they just sip and have good conversations, *for the sake of the good conver- sations*. It's like an artform. They just like the company of other civilized folks who aren't trying to *impress* someone. If someone who is still hung up on trying to impress wanders into one of these bars, they tend to last about ten minutes. At the end of that time, everyone has learned to ignore them. I think you can see the same phenomenon here on Fairfield Life, which in one sense is like a bar in cyberspace. Some people are clearly trolling to impress. They post something and then sit back and wait for someone to stroke them for how brilliant they are. And they get uptight if no one responds to what they said and *does* stroke them for what they said. I mean...think back...who is it that not long ago was writing anguished, whiny laments about how much time he spends writing things he considers "special" and then feeling all unappreciated because nobody replied to them? Right? Others are content with just expressing their thoughts and their beliefs and seeing what happens. If others find them interesting and turn them into a cool conversation, that's Ok. If everyone ignores them and focuses on other threads, that's Ok, too. I honestly think that some of you folks are project- ting *your* need for strokes and approval onto those who don't have that kinda need. There are folks out there who really *don't* get upset if someone doesn't respond to everything they say, and who *don't* get upset if someone doesn't stroke them every time they say it. There are people who don't panic and feel like they don't exist when no one has noticed them in a while. There are folks who are *content* to just sit quietly at the end of the bar nursing one drink for hours, just listening. People like Marek and Curtis and Rick. They *don't* have a need to impress, and to suck attention like some kind of perverse vibe vampire. They just wait for a break in the conversation, say what they have to say, and go back to sipping their one drink. Those are the kinds of people I look for in a bar, whether it is a physical bar or a cyberbar like this one. The others -- the ones who have so little idea of who they are that they need constant reflec- tions from others -- are down the street at the boring bars. Bottom line is that I think a lot of people who rag on bars would benefit by getting out to one every so often and getting some real feedback on who they are -- and more important -- who they aren't.
