Perfect Madness: From Awakening to Enlightenment by Donna Lee Gorrell (daughter of THE famous jazz musician of the same middle name)
I was naive when my spiritual journey began, I wanted growth without change, wisdom without experience, security without sacrifice, and life without death. I wanted to swim in the waters of eternity without getting wet. Instead, I found myself immersed in unfathomable darkness with no trace of where I'd been and no glimmer of where to go, lost in the void of my own mind and convinced I was going crazy. I had no way of knowing I was on the path to enlightenment. We find ourselves slipping deeper into uncharted layers of consciousness. Our comfort zone of sameness feels violated. One moment our mind is flooded with understanding; the next on the brink of insanity. Self-doubt permeates our being, and we experience symptoms paralleling mental illness, even borderline psychosis. We wonder if the only difference between insanity and sanity lies in the ability to BE crazy without ACTING crazy. >From Jean Klein Transmission of the Flame page 65 "...We have very often repeated that the seeker is the sought. An object is a fraction; it appears in your wholeness, in your globality. When you really come to the understanding that the seeker is the sought, there is a natural giving-up of all energy to find something. It is an instantaneous apperception. I don't say perception, because in perception there is a perceiver and something perceived. An apperception is an instantaneous perceiving of what is perceiving. So it can never be in relation of subject-object, just as an eye can never see its own seeing. .......you will find a glimpse of non-subject-object relationship. This glimpse is seen with your whole intelligence, which is there in the absence of the person, the thinker, the doer. Understanding, being the understanding, is enlightenment
