SCIENTOLOGISTS CALL TOM CRUISE `TOO WEIRD' 

Rare Excommunication a Setback for Hollywood Star 

The Church of Scientology dealt an unexpected blow to actor Tom Cruise today, 
excommunicating the Hollywood star for being "too weird." 

In an official statement from Scientology headquarters, church elders said that 
Mr. 
Cruise's erratic behavior during his ongoing courtship of former "Dawson's 
Creek" 
star Katie Holmes was so bizarre that it threatened to reflect poorly on other 
Scientologists. 

"The Church of Scientology likes to consider itself tolerant about the behavior 
of its 
members, but Tom Cruise has been acting like a total kook," the official 
statement 
read. 

According to Scientology insiders, Mr. Cruise began to alarm church elders last 
month, when he appeared on "Oprah" and jumped up and down on a couch like an 
insane person, proclaiming his love for Ms. Holmes. 

His increasingly unhinged protestations of love, capped by his proposal to Ms. 
Holmes at the Eiffel Tower last week, prompted the church to take drastic 
action. 

"As Scientologists, we believe that we all come from another planet," the 
official 
statement read. "Having said that, Tom Cruise has been acting like he is from 
Mars." 

But according to Buddy Schlantz, a veteran talent agent and observer of the 
Hollywood scene, Mr. Cruise's dust-up with the Church of Scientology may turn 
out 
to be his greatest publicity coup to date. 

"Whenever people hear the words `Tom Cruise' and `Mars' in the same sentence, 
it 
reminds them that `War of the Worlds' is opening June 29," Mr. Schlantz said. 

Elsewhere, a new poll shows that less than half of all Americans approve of the 
way 
Dick Cheney is handling President Bush's job. 




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