Our resident expert on What Would Jesus Do? on Fairfield Life has, in his beneficence, clarified for those of us who never under- stood it before what Jesus *really* meant by ¨Turn the other cheek.¨
The key element seems to be whether the person attempting to strike the cheek is doing so from the outside or the inside. Jesus´ original metaphor clearly said that if someone strikes you on the *outside* of your cheek, you should not respond with violence, and in fact should offer the other cheek to the offending person, so that he could strike it as well. However, as the apostle John R has shown us, that´s true only if the offending person is attempting to strike the *outside* of your cheek. If he attempts to touch the *inside* of your cheek -- say, by suggesting that you suck his dick, which might then touch the inside of your cheek -- then in that case the offend- ing person is an ¨abomination¨ in the sight of God and deserves to be killed. It is your right -- and dare I say it, sacred duty -- TO kill the offending abomination. You may not be able to do so ¨easily,¨ as John R suggested that Jesus would have been able to do. He, after all, was the Son Of God and all, and probably had some sooper-dooper siddhis at his disposal with which to waste abominations. Being a mere mortal, you don´t have access to these high-tech ways of killing. Therefore, if all you have at your disposal is a club to hit the abomination with, or a pile of rocks with which to stone him, you can use them. So it is written. So hath Jesus the Christ spoken, as explained by his apostle John R. Aren´t you glad you´ve got the real skinny on this one now, before that planned vacation to San Francisco?
