--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <no_re...@...> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "geezerfreak" <geezerfreak@> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > I just *know* I'm gonna get flack for this, > > > but I just can't resist. It's like giving a > > > lifelong vaudeville comedian a straight line > > > and expecting him not to respond with a joke. > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, scienceofabundance <no_reply@> > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > Subject: Mother Divine Emerita and Divine Devi of the > > > > Global Country or World Peace > > > > > > Why is it that this announcement feels so > > > appropriate coming right on the heels of > > > "women are only good for tempting men to > > > leave the spiritual path" JohnR talking > > > about beauty contests? :-) > > > > > > > Following consultation with the ladies of Maharishi's > > > > Mother Divine Program and the 21 Rajinis of Maharishi's > > > > worldwide movement, His Majesty Maharaja Adhi Raj Raja > > > > Raam has announced the creation of two new groups of > > > > ideal ladies to create enlightenment for all the world. > > > > > > First wonderful buzzphrase -- "ideal ladies." > > > > > > Call me sick, but I'm picturing a Barbie > > > with no genitals dressed in a sari, walking > > > several paces behind a Ken doll dressed in > > > a white robe and wearing a crown. > > > > > > > In a Royal Proclamation to prepare for the celebration > > > > of Vaisakhi Purnima of the Vedic Calendar... > > > > > > This celebration will hopefully provide a > > > bit of a break for the hard-working Rajas > > > and Rajinis and Mothers Divine (more on this > > > buzzphrase later), in between telling heads > > > of school systems that TM is not a religion. > > > > > > > ...His Majesty has proclaimed Vaisakhi Purnima as the > > > > auspicious day of inauguration of Mother Divine Emerita > > > > (MDE) and Divine Devi of the Global Country of World > > > > Peace (DD-GCWP). > > > > > > Why do I suddenly have a vision of Sister > > > Aloysious from "Doubt?" And why does the > > > phrase "Old Nun's Club" suddenly spring to > > > mind? > > > > > > > In a worldwide satellite conference celebration, amid > > > > cheers, applause, and the sounds of conches and ringing > > > > bells... > > > > > > The mind boggles at the things that Old Nuns > > > consider a "celebration." > > > > > > > ...His Majesty announced: "It is a great joy to invite > > > > current ladies of Mother Divine to join Mother Divine > > > > Emerita and continue to sanctify the world with their > > > > blessing. This invitation will be of particular interest > > > > to our dear Mothers Divine... > > > > > > "Mothers Divine?" Well, I guess it's better > > > than "Mother Divines." Can't be implying that > > > there could be more than one "Divine," can we? :-) > > > > > > > ...who have blessed the world for at least 15 years or > > > > who are 35 years of age or older." > > > > > > It IS an Old Nun's Club. > > > > > > I'm surprised there is not a "dryness test" > > > as well as a "length of time test" as a > > > criterion for membership. > > > > > > > His Majesty explained that it was always Maharishi's > > > > wish that the ladies of Maharishi's Mother Divine would > > > > be granted the title of "Mother Divine Emerita"... > > > > > > Hold on here just a moment. "Granted?" > > > > > > Doesn't that sorta imply that these "ladies" > > > are second-class citizens who can only be > > > "granted" things by their betters, the men? > > > > > > And isn't "granting" these "ladies" a more > > > lofty title while keeping them far, far away > > > from the real reins of power in the TMO a lot > > > like "granting" your secretary the title of > > > "administrative assistant" while keeping her > > > a secretary, and at the same salary? > > > > > > > ...as a celebration of gratitude to their continuous > > > > blessings on our worldwide movement and creating > > > > Heaven on Earth. > > > > > > I'm curious as to how these "blessings" occur. > > > Is it the mechanism of not having sex that confers > > > the blessings, or some other mechanism? Curious > > > minds want to know. > > > > > > > More details of this beautiful program will be announced > > > > shortly. > > > > > > As soon as the men think them up and impose > > > them on the "ladies." > > > > > > > In the meantime, all of our dear Mother Divine ladies > > > > interested should please contact the Mother Divine > > > > Emerita office at apply@ > > > > > > And we'll send you a printed-in-gold certificate > > > that you can hang in your cube saying that you > > > are now an administrative assistant, no longer > > > a secretary. Get me another coffee, will you > > > honey? > > > > > > > His Majesty also announced the creation of a beautiful > > > > new program, Divine Devi of the Global Country of World > > > > Peace, created especially for ladies everywhere who are > > > > seeking true enlightenment but who also wish to join > > > > His Majesty and Their Excellencies, The 40 Rajas of our > > > > Worldwide Movement, in perpetuating the administration > > > > of Maharishi's Worldwide Movement and creating the > > > > enlightened leaders of tomorrow for our beloved > > > > Maharishi's Worldwide Movement. > > > > > > Hmmmm. This sounds like a recruitment speech > > > in high schools for "Virgins For Jesus" to me. > > > > > > > According to His Majesty... > > > > > > And you should believe him because he has a title, > > > just like you'll have if you join our new Virgins > > > For Vishnu Club... > > > > > > > ...the goal of Divine Devi of the Global Country of World > > > > Peace is to create a Royal Family of the Global Country > > > > of World Peace to ensure enlightenment administration of > > > > the world for all mankind for all generations. > > > > > > And to avoid becoming actual mothers by avoiding > > > having sex. > > > > > > > More details of this beautiful program will be announced > > > > shortly. Please distribute this Royal Proclamation to > > > > all ladies. Given the nature of this program, this program > > > > is limited to ladies between 18 and 22 years of age. > > > > > > Ladies between 18 and 22 whose aspiration > > > in life is to someday be "granted" member- > > > ship in the Old Nun's Club by men. > > > > > > > In special cases, ladies as young as 15 years of age will > > > > be considered depending on their country of residence at > > > > the time of application. > > > > > > Hell, Virgins For Vishnu will take you if > > > you're 12 as long as you swear off sex and > > > promise to walk at least three paces behind > > > the Rajas at all times. > > > > > > > All interested ladies should know that their local Rajas > > > > are very, very excited about this program... > > > > > > Excited in a Good Way, that is...not that > > > Bad Way that we're trying to save you from. > > > > > > > ...and are immediately available to personally answer > > > > all questions related to this beautiful program. > > > > > > Possibly after hours, somewhere the Rajinis > > > can't interrupt us. We promise not to ask you > > > any embarrassing questions about gay marriage. :-) > > > > > > > If it is not immediately possible to speak with their > > > > local Raja, ladies are requested to contact the Divine > > > > Devi of the Global Country of World Peace office by > > > > email at urgent@ > > > > > > In other words, if they can't find a MAN to > > > talk to them about becoming a member of the > > > Virgins For Vishnu Club, they can settle for > > > the next best thing, talking to a member of > > > the Old Nun's Club. > > > > > > All I can say is, if this is the future that > > > the men of the TM movement envision for women > > > when "Heaven On Earth" dawns, I sure pity the > > > women. Ooops. Ladies. > > > > Post of the week Barry....bravo. > > Thanks. I had fun with it, whether it turns > out to be a spoof or not. The thing is...when > dealing with an organization as crazy as the > TMO, you can never be sure. :-)
And look at all of the elements in there that are NOT a spoof! (If this is indeed a spoof) So before the TBs out there get too high and mighty about this remember that for most of the way through the post YOU thought it was real too!
