Burdened with legal bills from people suing her for corruption *and* crazy as a loon, Sarah has decided to kill two birds with one stone by making a play for South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford.
Later this week she will announce that God has revealed to her that she and Governor Sanford are soulmates and that they deserve to live together in wedded bliss, as soon as she dumps that drunken snowmobile-riding gene disaster she's currently married to and sticks Todd with the kids. As soon as that's taken care of she will challenge Gov. Sanford's Argentinian mistress to a topless mud-wrestling contest that she is calling a "Soulmate Smackdown," to be broadcast on Pay TV. It is expected that the proceeds of this event will more than cover Sarah's legal bills, because not only will millions of ignorant rednecks shell out big bucks to see Sarah's tits, millions of Christians will watch because they'll see it as a test of whether God will allow Sarah to be beaten a second time by someone whose skin is not lily-white. [ You have to admit...my theory makes as much sense as many of the ones floating around in the press this morning, and is more entertaining... ]
