|
Vaj now hates my guts.
----I don't understand anything.
----I'm off lithium.
----I'm one with Lawson and Stein.
----I obviously have no capacity to understand
anything.
----I don't have any idea who he is.
----He gave me the long blow off and said -
Goodbye.
----Then he changed his email addy.
You know Vaj, that's why I was mean to you. I had to
test your qualities as an individual. Ever since you told me not to talk about
drugs and told me I was misguided I had my doubts about our
communicability. I really didn't care to develop a further relationship
with you as you already didn't have a clue as to who I am. That also means
I didn't really want lung from you for Med Tun. No offense. I kept telling
you I didn't need the lung but you just didn't get it. I already had the lung,
knucklehead. All I wanted was the short part of the Protectors. Why was
that so difficult for you?
I didn't want lung. That is, I knew I couldn't keep any
sort of samaya with you since we were not really amicable to each other. It's
all good though because the internet is not like trying circumstances for making
deep friendships. People met on the internet are invariably fair weather
friends. As easy as a goodbye and change an email addy and no need to ever
consider them again. Much as if one just popped a Prozac to get rid of
that annoyingly irritating emotion.
All that said, having you here at FFLife has made me
want to quit being here just about every day and renounce my Bodhi Vows because
of the tedium of your voice. Fact is, I almost can't stand saying Vajra Guru
mantra because it has the word Vaj in it. It's not that I hate you. It's just
that I hate your smug, selfish superiority. "Don't say the sacred Bijam of Guru
Rinpoche before these swine." You know that sort of shit. The shit
category, which presupposes that you cannot be bothered to even consider my
replies to your listserv diatribes. I am shit. You are superior. You beef,
me shit. Because we disagree. Poor me.
Oh, I questioned the great Nath Vaj. 'm off my
lithim, sorr Sir. Let me refill my prescription. Didn't help. You just are weak.
And not full of the answers. Rather you are just full of what other people have
told you. To quote ChNN:
"...one must know what kind of bird one is, and what
kind of cage one is in. And then one must really want to come out of all cages,
because it's no good just making ones cage a little bigger or more beautiful by,
for example, adding some fascinating new bars made from some 'exotic' Tibetan
teaching. It's no good building a new crystal cage out of Dzogchen teachings.
However beautiful it is, it's still a cage."
(The Crystal and the Way of Light, Pg. 114. ChNN,
Snowlion, 2000. Ithaca, NY)
What you didn't get is that I was your teacher to open
your bars, and not the other way around. Next time you get a Dakini teaching try
to listen. Ciao.
(It would stand to reason that there's only one
base, one ground, and whatever system of interrelated thought one used would
only be relative and coemergent. One builds a house upon the ground and a
hurricane comes and look no more house. Attachment to the house is not knowledge
of the ground or base. The idea of a trekchod is not a trekchod.)
To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
|
