On Sun, Feb 28, 2010 at 9:57 AM, tartbrain <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
> But before Tiger moves on there's one more apology he really should make, > and that's to Buddha, for dragging him into this mess and proving once > again, that whenever something unspeakably tawdry, loathsome and cheap > happens, just wait a few days. Religion will make it worse. > > Now usually, when famous cheaters are looking for public redemption, they > go to Jesus, but Tiger went old school, and claimed that sleeping with 2/3 > of the waitresses in America had made him a failure as a Buddhist. Based on the accounts I heard, he only slept with a few of them. The rest of them he just fucked. > He said Buddhism teaches you the way to inner peace is letting go of desire > - and if that doesn't sound like marriage, I don't know what does. > > Personally, if I was a golfer, I'd go with Jesus - because he's a Trinity It's a quartet, Dude. People always forget Andy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txzOErCuQlo (Andy walks with me, Andy talks to me) > , so when you walk with him, you've got a foursome. Christianity is for > rubes. Buddhism is for actors. > > He was a pretty good actor, acting Mr. Family Man, Mr. Wholesome. > And it really is outdated in some ways - the "Life sucks, and then you die" > philosophy was useful when Buddha came up with it around 500 B.C., because > back then life pretty much sucked, and then you died - but now we have > medicine, and plenty of food, and iPhones, and James Cameron movies - our > life isn't all about suffering anymore. And when we do suffer, instead of > accepting it we try to alleviate it. > > Tiger said, "Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves" > makes us unhappy, which confirms something I've long suspected about Eastern > religions: they're a crock, too. > > Craving for things outside ourselves is what makes life life - I don't want > to learn to not want, that's what people in prison have to do. Buddhism > teaches suffering is inevitable. The only thing that's inevitable is that if > you have fake boobs and hair extensions, Tiger Woods will try to fuck you. > > And reincarnation? Really? If that were real, wouldn't there be some proof > by now? A raccoon spelling out in acorns, "My name is Herb Zoller and I'm an > accountant." ...something? > > People are always debating, is Buddhism a religion or a philosophy: it's a > religion. You're a religion if you do something as weird as when the > Buddhist monks scrutinize two-year-olds to find the reincarnation of the > dude who just died, and then choose one of the toddlers as the sacred Lama: > "His poop is royal!" Sorry, but thinking you can look at a babbling, > barely-housebroken, uneducated being and say, "That's our leader" doesn't > make you enlightened. It makes you a Sarah Palin supporter. > > Full rap at: > > http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-maher/new-rule-stop-saying-sex_b_478545.html > > > > -- I've got nothing against God. It's his fan club I can't stand.
