I pass the following along verbatim from my brother, mainly because he has a talent for finding funny in unexpected places, but also because it seems to relate to recent discussions about fundraising.
While waiting for an upload to finish, I set about cleaning out my Junk Mail folder. My eye was drawn to the text below, the entire non-link content of a spam message. Most spam messages are semi-literate at best and sometimes provide inadvertently hilarious examples of non-native speakers trying to sound informal and colloquial. This note took the opposite approach: the text is fully literate and quite good English but utter nonsense. A sample: Any globule can negotiate a prenuptial agreement with a temporal tornado, but it takes a real diskette to caricature a flavored hell. Truer words were never written. Um, I think. As you see, this approach is funnier than the attempts of the non-literate. Entertainment aside, it still didn't get me to click the links in the spam. Another thoroughly fashionable chestnut notices a girl scout near the fundraiser and tries to seduce a plaintiff living with the beard. Furthermore, the pig pen about a chess board ceases to exist, and the hydrogen atom is a big fan of a frustrating grand piano. A mysterious spider finds lice on a line dancer. Any globule can negotiate a prenuptial agreement with a temporal tornado, but it takes a real diskette to caricature a flavored hell. When the cocker spaniel daydreams, a recliner toward a dust bunny self-flagellates. A satellite for a fruit cake ridiculously writes a love letter to a girl scout from the burglar. Indeed, a wedge about a tuba player makes a truce with a movie theater. Sometimes a worldly pig pen sweeps the floor, but the diskette behind the formless void always tries to seduce a moldy fairy! A linguistic oil filter knowingly satiates an almost boiled satellite. The oil filter completely operates a small fruit stand with a bottle of beer defined by a cheese wheel. When a turkey leaves, another ski lodge from the tripod reads a magazine. When another hypnotic mating ritual is soggy, the polka-dotted warranty borrows money from a treacherous fairy. Any photon can negotiate a prenuptial agreement with a tomato, but it takes a real hydrogen atom to trade baseball cards with the spider related to a pine cone. Now and then, the fairy completely tries to seduce the pickup truck from some flavored hell. A fire hydrant defined by the freight train matches A cheese wheel, a wedge inside a blithe spirit, and a fried cocker spaniel are what made America great! Now and then, an orbiting hockey player befriends a treacherous turn signal. Another cowboy living with a cloud formation hardly sanitizes a carpet tack, or the rattlesnake behind an apartment building completely gives secret financial aid to a tape recorder. The burglar toward the movie theater Most people believe that an eagerly magnificent plaintiff reaches an understanding with another submarine from a hole puncher, but they need to remember how knowingly the scythe about a deficit daydreams. When a fraction is resplendent, the pig pen for a nation assimilates some paper napkin. A lazily cantankerous demon secretly admires some sheriff. For example, a Spartan buzzard indicates that the spider behind a short order cook graduates from the makeshift movie theater. The pig pen toward a tabloid Now and then, the chess board related to a grizzly bear secretly finds subtle faults with a tabloid. Now and then, the umbrella about the light bulb makes a truce with a cloud formation. The dust bunny related to the particle accelerator eagerly befriends a microscope. A revered graduated cylinder usually laughs and drinks all night with a cheese wheel, or a stoic pork chop ridiculously negotiates a prenuptial agreement with a sheriff. A frightened prime minister procrastinates, and the fire hydrant feels nagging remorse; however, a statesmanlike pig pen assimilates the industrial complex over another sheriff. Conclusions gHNfXZ`0`bINViE_gUORNJPiK;WSX The steam engine defined by a turn signal reads a magazine, and a bullfrog for the industrial complex panics; however, the microscope related to a jersey cow has a change of heart about an earring. Sometimes a worldly bottle of beer daydreams, but a freight train related to the cloud formation always tries to seduce a senator! A demon near the dolphin sells a hairy stovepipe to a ski lodge, or a burly abstraction seldom figures out the scythe. Any minivan can compete with an underhandedly smelly tabloid, but it takes a real line dancer to be a big fan of a particle accelerator from a maelstrom. Sometimes a cloud formation defined by the paycheck gets stinking drunk. This complex always reaches an understanding with some geosynchronous pit viper! Furthermore, a tape recorder about a minivan beams with joy, and an industrial complex secretly admires the CEO from a reactor. When the globule for a cowboy is accurately pompous, a photon satiates a cough syrup of the fraction. The somewhat wrinkled chain saw has a change of heart about a squid, because the demon near an earring laughs and drinks all night with the class action suit. A crank case for a turn signal takes a coffee break, and the molten roller coaster hesitantly organizes the turn signal. A ski lodge defined by a hole puncher For example, a slow microscope indicates that an unstable canyon operates a small fruit stand with the vacuum cleaner. A highly paid hydrogen atom, the wisely infected umbrella, and a vaporized tuba player are what made America great! The class action suit around a bullfrog tries to seduce a cantankerous particle accelerator. The fraction inside a chestnut feels nagging remorse, but the imaginative grizzly bear secretly admires a dust bunny around a graduated cylinder. A wheelbarrow toward a dust bunny sometimes attracts a South American grain of sand, but a light bulb from a maelstrom always takes a peek at an unstable industrial complex! When you see an abstraction behind a blithe spirit, it means that a makeshift submarine dies. A dolphin from another stovepipe sells a steam engine to the self-loathing tornado. A canyon befriends a short order cook toward a chain saw. Most people believe that a turn signal related to the formless void reaches an understanding with a tuba player near a globule, but they need to remember how single-handedly a polka-dotted fundraiser beams with joy. A formless void related to a vacuum cleaner senator related to a skyscraper organizes an avocado pit. Any nation can lazily negotiate a prenuptial agreement with a shabby bottle of beer, but it takes a real skyscraper to overwhelmingly give secret financial aid to some cargo bay. If a gratifying microscope befriends a senator about the tuba player, then an orbiting power drill leaves. A sheriff defined by another mastodon is accidentally pathetic. For example, a salty avocado pit indicates that a stovepipe near a deficit eats a tomato about the apartment building. A greedily frozen tomato seeks the turn signal from a turkey. When a lazily dreamlike hole puncher panics, some salad dressing returns home. A crank case about a cheese wheel assimilates the mating ritual for a carpet tack. If a ridiculously feline crank case goes deep sea fishing with the moldy chess board, then a photon behind the grand piano gets stinking drunk. When you see a satellite, it means that the hole puncher starts reminiscing about lost glory. For example, a paper napkin indicates that a photon underhandedly derives perverse satisfaction from a cough syrup behind an insurance agent. Now and then, a traffic light living with the blithe spirit greedily organizes the college-educated cargo bay. A diskette from a particle accelerator is fried. When you see a wedding dress on a hockey player, it means that the blithe spirit for the traffic light procrastinates. Sometimes a bartender toward a microscope hibernates, but the tripod always makes love to the pig pen! When a childlike light bulb is boiled, a pine cone underhandedly graduates from a traffic light defined by a pit viper. The phony nation Now and then, a burglar for some food stamp goes deep sea fishing with the slyly imaginative blithe spirit. When you see the paycheck around the prime minister, it means that a carelessly frustrating recliner returns home. Most people believe that a formless void falls in love with the short order cook, but they need to remember how single-handedly a temporal photon meditates. A hypnotic umbrella If a surly microscope almost tries to seduce a scythe, then an eggplant starts reminiscing about lost glory. When a salty paycheck reads a magazine, a briar patch for a hockey player flies into a rage. Furthermore, the rattlesnake related to a ski lodge earns frequent flier miles, and another parking lot from a maelstrom finds lice on the corporation near a girl scout. Some canyon from another graduated cylinder dies, but a line dancer greedily negotiates a prenuptial agreement with an earring. A tuba player slyly makes love to a carpet tack.
