Let's look at an example of Barry's fiction-writing where I'm concerned, the "edits" he made to the Characterstics of Co-Dependency list he lifted from Wikipedia (which Wikipedia took from Co-Dependents Anonymous).
Only a couple of the items actually apply to me in any case, but what's really interesting is the items he *left out* (in one case he even left out part of an item). They're in red below. It's obvious *why* he left them out--most of them flatly contradict his whole thesis. Not even Barry would be foolish enough to try to persuade readers they described moi. He didn't really do that good a job of "editing" the list, though--he left in several that are starkly WTF? such as the single "Low Self-Esteem" item he did leave in; and under "Compliance," "I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want." I've also indicated which of the items *do* apply to me. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com <mailto:FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> , TurquoiseB <no_re...@...> wrote: <snip wholly fictional analysis> > CHARACTERISTICS OF CO-DEPENDENCY > > Denial Patterns: > * I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling. > * I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel. > * I perceive myself as completely unselfish and > dedicated to the well being of others. > > Low Self Esteem Patterns: > * I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings > and behavior over my own. LEFT OUT: * I have difficulty making decisions. * I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough." * I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts. * I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires. * I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person. > Compliance Patterns: > * I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and > feel the same. [The first part applies to me; the second depends entirely on what the feeling is.] > * I value others' opinions and feelings more than > my own and am afraid to express DIFFERING OPINIONS [LEFT OUT!] and feelings of my own. > * I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order > to do what others want. LEFT OUT: * I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger. * I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long. * I accept sex when I want love. > Control Patterns: > * I believe most other people are incapable of taking > care of themselves. > * I attempt to convince others of what they "should" > think and how they "truly" feel. [Yes to the first part, but of course we all do that, including Barry. No to the second part, although I may intuit what one person is feeling and try to convince others of what that person is feeling.] > * I become resentful when others will not let me help > them. > * I freely offer others advice and directions without > being asked. [This is the *sole item* in the entire list that applies to me without qualification.] > * I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship > with others. LEFT OUT: * I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about. * I use sex to gain approval and acceptance. Isn't that amazing? <snip more fictional analysis> > it is my considered opinion that the *only* thing that > can help her overcome her Borderline Personality Dis- > order is the thing she fears the most -- being ignored. Anyway, after this disastrous attempt to foist a "personality disorder" on me, Barry goes back to his perennial plea that everyone ignore me (something he's pathetically incapable of doing himself). It's the closest he can come to demanding censorship. Note that I have *never* suggested that anyone should ignore Barry. You have to be genuinely afraid of what a person has to say to want to censor them. <snip> > And if you think I'm wrong in this armchair psychoanalysis > of her and her behavior, just sit back and watch how she > reacts to it. Barry Wright, as usual, Master of Inadvertent Irony. (Sorry, do.rk, you gave it the old college try, but you didn't come close to seizing the title.)
