I can never read or hear the title "Spartacus" without thinking of Cher Horowitz's interpretation of it in the movie "Clueless": "Sporaticus".
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <no_re...@...> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Bhairitu <noozguru@> wrote: > > > > It's too bad that Starz is yet another $18 a month subscription on > > Comcrap err... I mean XXX-finity. If they had a 6 month for $7 a > > month promo I might sign up. But sadly these days there's little to > > offer even with my current subscription. I was surfing what > > OnDemand movie to watch and saw almost nothing that was of > > interest. Then I went to the pay OnDemand and cruised those and > > found little or nothing to catch my interest. With the latter I > > have some coupons that will defray part of the cost. > > > > "Rome" was very good but I tired of it by season three and stopped > > watching. > > I got tired of it early on and stopped watching. > It's good that you remind me of the realities of > whether you can see these TV series or not. Me, > I'm an eyepatch-wearer in a country that is way > tolerant of eyepatches, so I get to see pretty > much anything I want. > > This series really does deserve Heather's review. > I've never seen anything quite like it. She really > nails it, so much so I want to date her. :-) It's > this amazing blend of soft-core porn and hard-core > violence, played *exactly* as she suggests, with > the former as foreplay, but the Big O delivered > with the latter. > > Blood splashing everywhere in ways that makes "300" > look like a Saturday morning children's cartoon. > Naked or near-naked bodies everywhere. And naked > whatever your preference is in naked. I can see this > show having a big gay following, because let's face > it...it's full of not only incredibly buff naked > and near-naked men, it even shows gay male and > female sex. > > I don't know quite what to make of it. For me it's > like watching a train wreck and being unable to look > away. If this is the future of television, then the > U.S. is further gone than I thought. It's not that > big a leap from this show to "The Running Man" and > gladiators for real. > > > TurquoiseB wrote: > > > I've been kinda holding my tongue on this one. My brother got me hooked > > > on "Spartacus: Blood and San," which I retitled as above in the Subject > > > line after seeing the first episode, but which I have been unable to > > > tear my eyes away from ever since. I haven't commented much on it here > > > because I just hadn't gotten the words together to do it justice. Now I > > > needn't bother. Heather Havrilesky on Salon did it for me. > > > > > > "Spartacus": "Rome" on steroids, Viagra and crack > > > <http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/heather_havrilesky/2010/03/06/spa\ > > > rtacus_blood_and_sand_rome_on_steroids_viagra_crack/index.html> > > > <http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/heather_havrilesky/index.html> Heather > > > Havrilesky <http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/heather_havrilesky/index.html> > > > >From full-frontal nudity to splashing blood, is this the future of TV or > > > just a pornographic video game gone mad? By Heather Havrilesky > > > <http://www.salon.com/author/heather_havrilesky/index.html> > > > Andy Whitfield in "Spartacus: Blood and Sand." > > > What's wrong with modern life? When did our spontaneity and imagination > > > and appetite for glory leave us, replaced by bloodshot eyes and a hard > > > knot in the stomach, failure wrapped in neuroticism dripped with anxiety > > > covered with dissatisfaction? When did we trade in our vibrant, lusty, > > > devil-may-care recklessness and red wine-glazed dreams for the carpal > > > tunnel and coffee breath of the professionally compromised? When did we > > > go from carefree iconoclasts to distracted, sallow lumps who've wasted > > > the better half of a decade rewriting inter-office e-mails so that > > > they're less of a reflection of our bitter, dying souls? > > > > > > Sure, when we're not impaired by the relentless drumbeat of empty tweets > > > and Googled tragedies and breathless press releases about the latest > > > jackhole to sign up for "Dancing With the Stars," we do try to reach out > > > to each other, tenuously, through Facebook and Twitter and sometimes > > > even by picking up our telephones, which haven't held a solid charge > > > since Monica Lewinsky was running around the White House in capri pants. > > > > > > But it's not the same. One decade into the new millennium, one too many > > > irresistible up-to-date blurbs and blogs and snippets and tweets have > > > smeared our once-lively spirits across the dirty windshield of life. > > > > > > Except when we're in a really good mood, and then everything's fine. > > > > > > Butt cheek of the gods > > > > > > Thank the lords "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" (10 p.m. Fridays on Starz) > > > is here to show us exactly when, where and how we went astray. > > > Apparently, back in 73 B.C., human beings were gigantic and horny and > > > all they did was have great sex and slash each other with steely blades, > > > resulting in big bursts of blood that splashed everywhere. Hurray! > > > > > > It seems that ever since that time, humans have steadily grown more > > > vague and sullen, losing more muscle mass and joie de vivre each century > > > that they walked the earth. With each passing decade came another reason > > > to slouch and feel discouraged: the spinning wheel (ouch), barbed wire > > > (drag), pasteurization (enough already), the electric nose-hair clipper > > > (please). All of it led up to where we are today, namely, watching > > > "House" while sobbing into a laminated cup of cherry Jell-o. > > > > > > * Continue Reading > > > <http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/heather_havrilesky/2010/03/06/spa\ > > > rtacus_blood_and_sand_rome_on_steroids_viagra_crack/index.html> > > > > > > But fear not, because our new hero Spartacus is here to lead us out of > > > the darkness, demonstrating exactly how we might get our souls back: > > > namely, by having lots of frisky humpy time with meat-Chiclet-adorned > > > macho men, then throwing big sharp knives at offensive strangers from > > > across the room! > > > > > > Of course, it all starts with the raping and pillaging of our home > > > villages after being betrayed by the Romans. Next, our lovers are > > > carried away and enslaved by Roman fiends and we're made to fight four > > > men at once in the Colosseum (much like the Superdome but with more > > > people sporting the then-fashionable boobs-out look). That ends in lots > > > of blood splashing, and a rowdy mass of boobs-out heathens yelling out > > > our (new, fake) name, which forces powerful men to harness our 15 > > > minutes of fame for evil, rather than good. Next come the muscle men who > > > lecture us menacingly in the shower while their gigantic penises bob > > > along with every step, and then we do some defiant stuff that almost > > > gets us killed, but finally we give in and agree to lug around huge logs > > > and spar with other greased-up ding-dongs, so that, eventually? We're > > > all puffy and fierce and ready to beat people's faces in until blood > > > splashes across the camera. Mmm, it feels good to be alive, doesn't it? > > > Who knew that our deliverance would come in the form of hand-to-hand > > > combat, impromptu orgies and around-the-clock sipping out of fancy > > > chalices of red wine? All right, I had some inkling. > > > > > > Even if it doesn't free humanity from our current lackluster path, > > > "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" exists on an entirely different planet from > > > other televised entertainments. This is HBO's "Rome" on steroids, > > > Viagra, LSD and crack: The sex scenes feature bare asses, bare breasts, > > > slaves on hand to help masturbate their masters into the proper state of > > > excitement, and haunted lutes playing in the background. The fight > > > scenes are half "300," half "Mortal Kombat," replete with rotating > > > severed heads, slow-motion flying buckets of blood that occasionally > > > expand to fill the entire screen with a sea of red, and warriors who > > > bellow, "We'll fuck your women. We'll fuck them all!" > > > > > > Hell, even the straightforward conversations between two characters > > > typically feature some gratuitous twist: Spartacus' archenemy stands, > > > berating him while fully naked, his big cock practically piping up with > > > its own sidekick tag lines ("Yeah, like my boss just told ya! You're > > > dead meat, mister!"); Lucretia (Lucy Lawless) lounges in a see-through > > > top, having a long conversation with her husband that we can't > > > understand because we're being glamoured by her huge breasts; some > > > character whispers "cunt" or "fuck whore" or any number of salacious > > > things (like this nastiness, from Lucretia: "It all comes back round to > > > a pair of tits and a tight little hole"). Sure, it worked on "Deadwood," > > > but without the Shakespearean adornments, "fuck" often feels like an > > > extra bucket of fake blood that you didn't really need to get your point > > > across. > > > > > > But then, the point or story is just window dressing to the slugging and > > > screwing that we came to see here. When extremely fit human beings growl > > > their paint-by-numbers Hollywood historical epic lines ("Nothing will > > > keep me from returning to your arms, not the Romans, not the gods > > > themselves!"), making sweet lyrical Abdominizer love, then slash their > > > opponents knees in half with their glittering hatchets, we're offered a > > > glimpse into an animal world we traded in for the sterilized, > > > vacuum-sealed alienation of modern life. > > > > > > No wonder this basic formula -- seethe, slash, screw, repeat -- dressed > > > up as it is by CGI effects and blue-eyed star Andy Whitfield, isn't > > > shocking more audiences with its over-the-top flashiness and pandering. > > > Sure, some have called it "too rude > > > <http://www.metro.co.uk/news/815997-spartacus-too-rude-for-british-tv> > > > for British TV," but who are we sleazy, foul-mouthed Americans to judge? > > > The blogs certainly lit up last week when the gay gladiator, Barca > > > (Antonio Te Maioho), made athletic love to his partner Pietros (Eka > > > Darville), who grinned from ear to ear as if to say, "This is really my > > > favorite perk of being a slave boy." > > > > > > But those two are actually fond of each other, and are engaged in the > > > equivalent of a standard under-the-sheets, missionary position > > > compulsory routine, compared to the frenzied humping unfolding > > > elsewhere: Batiatus (John Hannah) takes his ample-bosomed slave woman > > > from behind, Lucretia (Lawless) rides her gladiator Crixius (Manu > > > Bennett) into the sunset, and all of it is merely foreplay for the > > > decapitations and gory mess that comes after it. Somehow the special > > > effects, the sandals, the swords, and the mystical lutes distract us > > > from the fact that this sex-followed-by-blood-bath may be the closest TV > > > has come to snuff. > > > > > > Naturally, ratings are through the roof for Starz -- 1 million at last > > > count. So what does this tell us about the state of cable television in > > > 2010? Maybe that if you throw out the rules and boundaries of middlebrow > > > network television and create something depraved and lascivious and > > > gruesome, with plenty of slashed throats and greased-up abs and CGI > > > flourishes, you will emerge triumphant. > > > > > > Or, as Doctore (Peter Mensah) puts it, "Forget everything you learned > > > outside these walls, for that is the world of men. We are more, we are > > > gladiators!" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
