Yesterday I would have sworn that I had nothing more to write about in my traditional Saturday morning cafe raps. Nothing TM- or Maharishi-oriented, anyway. But this morning I find that the recently-reintroduced notion of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and its seeming prevalence in spiritual movements has given me new "meat" for my bocadillo.
I don't think anyone with a shred of self-honesty can deny the extent of narcissism in the TM movement and in its reflection here on FFL. From "the magic number of Yogic Flyers in Fairfield will end crime and recession and bring about world peace" to "10 Yogic Flyers in Finland will change the weather," there is a mythology built up around the importance of TMers that just won't quit. TB TMers might say that the importance they claim in the cosmic scheme of things is deserved; I tend to see it as mere self-importance, and classic narcissism. But this is a rap not about narcissism per se but its opposite: humility and the realization of one's *unim- portance* in the cosmic scheme of things. We don't hear much about that here, so I thought I'd rap about it for awhile. I would like to go on record as saying that I am Not Important. Nothing I think about or say on this forum is ever likely to change anything on the planet, inclu- ding anyone else's mind. I am not an "expert" on much of anything in the world of spirituality; at *most* I am just more familiar with a few things than those who have never tried them or experienced them. But even that "greater familiarity" is subjective, and unlike some I do not hold subjective experience to be Truth. If you think about it, isn't the glorification of sub- jective experience *itself* the classic definition of narcissism? The only reason most people believe that enlightenment even exists is that they were told it does by people who claimed to have experienced it. And most of *them* also told us that those who *had* experienced it were "special," "saints," human beings "incapable of wrong action," and "perfect." What I tend to like in a spiritual teacher is the rare one who can say, "This is what I experienced. Period. I don't claim that it's Truth, just what I experienced." Suffice it to say I don't get to hear this much. I for one would like to hear it more often. I'd like to run into more spiritual teachers who exemplify humility more than they do self-importance. I may have a long wait. As the statistics quoted in the article tartbrain posted yesterday pointed out, 80 percent of girls and 77 percent of boys surveyed in 1980 thought of themselves as an "important person." What are the chances that if some of them grew up to become spiritual teachers, they continued to think that way, and attracted followers who want to think of *themselves* that way? The result? Endlessly-replicating narcissism. Personally, I get off instead on a kind of kick-yer-own- ass's-importance mindfulness. I *groove* on the moments in which I am reminded just how unimportant I really am. There is a certain *freedom* in Not Being Important. When expressing an opinion, the unimportant person can just throw the opinion out there with all the other opinions, and then *let it go*. It doesn't matter how people respond to the opinion, because it was Not Important, and neither was the person who expressed it. Not Being Important has many benefits in social inter- actions as well. No one is more noticeable and more instantly loathed in bars and cafes than the person who has to suck all the air out of the room by proclaiming their importance. And in the world of romance, the truly humble never feel that they have to try to "impress" someone they're interested in. The other person is either going to be as interested in them or they're not; nothing they can do or say about how important they are is going to change that much. Try to imagine the *burden* people carry through life by feeling that they are important. Feeling that they have to defend every opinion expressed, or present it as better than other opinions. Feeling that they have to defend *themselves* and their perception of who they are against other perceptions of who they are. That shit must weigh a TON. The humble don't have to carry that baggage around. They can be characterized as unimportant and agree with the characterization. They can have an opinion and not feel the need to engage in debate over it or "win" that debate as if it were "important" to do so. Robin Williams said in one of his early comedy routines, "Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly." I'm suggesting that humans who take themselves lightly can come close to experiencing that angelic flight by just dropping the need to be important. "Important" is HEAVY, man...it weighs a ton, and has to be constantly maintained. Who can fly while carrying all that weight around? Being able to realize that you are unimportant is like going on a diet and losing 50 pounds. You may still be walking, but it *feels* like flying.
