Anyone who is so brainwashed that she thinks of critics as "enemies" deserves only my pity. That's my version of behaving kindly.
--- In [email protected], Sharalyn Harris <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > From: scienceofabundance > Date: Sun Jul 24, 2005 6:31 pm > Subject: Re: PS: From A World Where Everything **WILL** Be Positive!! > scienceofabu... > > >She used to be here in the beginning, but she did not like > >the "negativity", so she went and created her own group where she > >decides what can be posted and what cannot. > > Dear FairfieldLifers, > > I don't read FFL, but a friend sent me the interchange in which someone > posted my post to the Kiosk. I got a chuckle from it, and indeed agree from > past experience that many of the posters on FFL are more in need of > spankings (puntative, not recreational) for their peevish, pouting posts > they try to pass off as intelligent analysis but which is actually only the > whining of chronically dissatisfied personalities who don't have the > maturity to get beyond their small-minded egos. > > Even the most loving mother can lose her temper when the kids act like > brats. I haven't lost my temper but as Hafiz says, "Sometimes (even) God > gets TIRED of speaking sweetly." If I get tired of speaking sweetly at the > Kiosk, I could always come visit FFL where so many brilliant minds are > solving world problems. :-) > > Even so, there are kinder ways my opinion could have been expressed. That's > what the Kiosk is about--speaking the sweet truth, as the Vedas say, or as > the Bible says, "think on these things (that are good, pleasant, honorable, > of good report, etc.) > > Yes, I know that it is honestly hard for some of you to understand that > being positive doesn't equate to being brain-dead. If I recall, I myself > thought that at one time, that if one didn't criticize then it must because > one didn't have the intelligence to do so. > > But this is mistaking CRITICISM for CRITICAL THINKING--they're not the same > thing at all! One can be a critical thinker, functioning in full > self-referral discrimination, and even be in protest against something--all > without ever being negative. Even though there are (or were when I was on > it) some really wonderful and highly evolved people on FFL, but being > critical in the FFL sense is often not mature critique or the honorable > discussions of the wise making discriminations on fine points of knowledge. > Rather it is an ego puffing, us-versus them mentality, the kind of thinking > that says WE are better, smarter, more enlightened than THEM, that THEY are > so bad that they deserve to be ridiculed, scorned, and rejected by those of > us who are too wise to be taken in by their nonsense. > > But don't you see, anything spoken with sarcasm or scorn is a put-down, and > put-downs are personal wars. The Vedas say there are two reasons for speech. > One is to expand Knowledge and the other is to expand ego. Criticism is all > about the personal war, the ego's need to feel seperate. It is divisive, > dualistic. Its gives us a sense of superiority and personal power. > > When FFL posters write with sarcastic wit, bash saints and cast doubts on > people and ideas, do you notice that you get a feeling of power? That's ego > feeding on that negativity. It carries a particular pleasure with it that > for some is addictive. But even if you are right, what is gained? Criticism > destroys fine levels of feeling and distorts more delicate truths. > > For instance, wouldn't you agree that ScienceofAbundance makes it sound like > I created the Kiosk because I am an unrealistic bliss-ninny who just wants > to be controlling? What was your reaction when you read that? Something > similiar to the feeling you get when you smash a bad-guy ship in a computer > game? Like you've WON something? This is ego. > > Some people criticize because they think it solves problems by defining > them. But what is gained by criticizing people who are not there either to > defend themselves or to hear and understand, or by using criticisms based on > hearsay and personal opinion, and giving authority to one's opinions by > using a tone of scorn? > > So comes of this except to encourage doubt, fear, dislike and disrespect? We > are none of us perfect beings. We all make mistakes and do stupid things and > blunder around like jack-asses at times; even very enlightened people make > relative mistakes in judgment and behavior. Evenutually ALL of us wake up to > our mistakes. Oh s**t, how could I be so stupid? So how would you want > others to behave toward you when you make mistakes? Of all the possible > solutions to problems, criticism is the least effective. The ONLY good it > does is to make the criticizer and those who agree with him feel good. It > makes everyone else miserable. It creates defensive anger (like you perhaps > felt reading the beginning of this post?). Criticism reduces life flow and > is discouraging. It takes away hope for positive change. It closes the door > to positive solutions or to real understanding. It smashes fine feelings. > > And what goes around comes around. Someday it will be your turn to stand in > front of the judge. What will the judge see in you to criticize, and how > would you like to be treated at that time? > > I am not perfect. I have a critical intellect that used to be mean-spirited > and judgmental and still makes me hell-on-wheels if I lose my temper. But > I've learned the difference between critical and critique, and I have gained > the understanding that it isn't necessary to be critical to be intelligent > and discriminating. The goal for the Kiosk was not to be unrealistically > la-la positive, but to have a forum in which, just as in any genuinely > loving family, we can cultivate that which is kindly and supportive for each > other, that which is good, pleasant, and up-lifting, a place where people > can feel safe to post without getting bashed. > > As controller of what gets posted, it is not my job to be The Thought > Police. There have been times I've felt weighted down with the > responsibility of having to make a judgement about whether to post something > or to allow someone in as a member. I didn't realize that there would be > things that are not clear cut. I have made and will no doubt continue to > make mistakes. I can only do my sincere best. The guideline is, is it > life-supporting (positive)? > > You probably will agree with Maharishi when he says, "Everything has its > place, but the dinner table is not the place for manure." The Kiosk is like > saying, "During the time that we as a family are sitting down to eat > together, we will behave with courtesy and kindness and not upset our > digestion by permitting anyone to sling manure." The Kiosk is a place where > the theme is to be FRIENDLY, where the non-friendly are ignored or > encouraged to go elsewhere. If FFL is the place to go where to find > unrestricted critical expression, then the Kiosk is a place to go for > nourishment of what is positive, pleasant and supportive. What is so > terrible about that? > > Since creating it, I have had so little time to tend or promote it that > (despite the fact that it continues to grow in numbers) there isn't much > activity on it, mostly forwards of inspirational news, Maharishi stories, > etc. There was some discussion in the early days, but it was stiff and > strained because most posters were not sure how to go about being real and > being positive at the same time. Discussion thrives on contraversy, so when > critical contraversy was not allowed, many didn't know how to handle it. > Also, there was not enough people in the early days for things to happen > naturally. > > I'd hoped it would become not only a place for discussion but also a lively > place people could go, like the physical kiosks in villages, to send or read > the news that is the heart of a community, the human aspect: what's > happening where, who's getting married, who's having babies, who is ill and > needs help, who made their transition, and so forth. Is a pet lost or in > need of a home? Does anyone need a baby sitter or a ride to the opera? > Individuals or businesses may communicate what they have for sale or are > doing as a service, hopefully as if they were speaking to friends and family > and not merely exploiting it as a site for free advertising. (In this case, > there's a fine distinction between news and advertising exploitation but > maybe you get the idea.) > > It is a misunderstanding to think that the restriction against negativity > disallows one to be genuine or realistic. Certainly some people who are > "positive" are just in bliss-ninny denial, just as many people who are > critical are in oppositional denial. But it is very much possible to be > FULLY in self-referral honesty without being negative. It is surely a mark > of civilization and an enlightened community to be in support of behaving > kindly. Anyone can criticize. But it requires the development of > communication skills and personal growth to see what there is to appreciate. > The Kiosk is a place for appreciation. If you couldn't be friendly and > supportive without a sense of hyprocracy, then the Kiosk wouldn't be the > place for you to hang out. > > Having said that, I warmly invite all of you to come join, to post your news > or talk about your services, and certainly it is open to discuss ways to > make it useful for the community or to offer help with the management of it > and having it go in directions you'd find useful. > > Best wishes to you, friends and enemies alike. > > Namaste, > Sharalyn To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
