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So yesterday the Swedish woman
invited everyone to come and see Mahavatara Bhagavan Kalki, to which I threw up
and then while wiping my chin spumed forth in judgemental anger and with knee
jerk psychomania said, "Fuck that."
And I'm sure some of you thought I
was being an asshole.
But my opinion is, if you parade
your Guru around like a trophy wife, then beware of someone fucking her in the
bathroom when you're not looking. Otherwise, keep your synchophantic and
melodramatic love affairs out of the public's eye. I mean, if you go
around telling people, hey, my girlfiend has the best pussy ever. She also can
dance the can can in missionary position, and samba when she's on top. Then
guess what? Somebody is going to take you up on that.
For the women. Gee Marge, my
husband's cock is short I guess. It's only about eight inches
long. It's little too thick though. Usually he feels like he's
filling me up a bit more than I can take. Well, I never thought he was
very good in bed. He only makes me have orgasms two or three times every
night. That's not quite the average is it? Plus he likes oral sex and he
goes down on me even when I don't feel like doing anything and he makes me cum
in about two minutes instead of taking his time...
If my guru is giving me experiences
of unity which make me feel like I'm cumming in my brain and golden balls are
ringing through the nether realms like a huge hit of crack cocaine, then yeah,
I'm really going to tell you guys. I ain't giving that sort of guru away to
nobody. Nor that kind of wife. Nor that kind of husband. Nor that kind of drug.
So keep your phoney guru. If
you can think clearly enough after his darshan to put his bhakti into well
formed sentences then my guess is that you have done some Photoshop on your
brain, not just on your miracle photos.
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