On 06/13/2011 06:57 AM, wayback71 wrote: > > --- In [email protected], turquoiseb<no_reply@...> wrote: >> "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it >> make the sound of Barry lying?" >> >> Many on this forum have said that they are tired of the "Barry-Judy >> feud," and would like it to end. I contend that some of them are talking >> through their hats, and that *they* are one of the primary reasons it >> continues. In this post, I will propose a way that I think that *they* >> could help to end this "feud" forever, by simply refusing to participate >> in it. >> >> I think that the koan above presents the case I'm going to make in this >> post. I think that the "Barry-Judy feud" to some extent exists primarily >> in the mind of the person who is obsessed with...uh...Barry. That >> obsession is never going to end. Judy continues to feel the need to post >> "corrective" or "deserved putdown" responses to anything I post, and >> does so even when I don't reply to them. As others have commented, she >> does the same thing *even when I am no longer on the forum*. >> >> But that's just one sad, lonely, obsessive old woman, hardly a "feud." >> WHY do occasional "outbreaks" of the old "feud" back-and-forth mentality >> still "break out" on FFL from time to time, as they have in her recent >> discussions with Curtis? >> >> My contention is that the reason for this is that Curtis is *allowing* >> the feud to resurface, and even *enabling* it to do so by allowing >> himself to be sucked in to Judy's "gotta get Barry" obsession. My >> contention is that Curtis -- as much as I like him -- is allowing >> himself to be a codependent enabler. >> >> The game, as I see it, is this. Judy feels the need to keep dumping on >> Barry. *Forget* the WHY of this; it's simply obvious *that* she feels >> this need, and on the level of an obsessive compulsion. But in recent >> months she has become frustrated because she can't draw me into the >> one-on-one confrontation and extended argument with her that she wants. >> So what she *does* about this is to glom onto a discussion on some other >> topic altogether ("Does a tree falling in an empty forest make a >> sound?"), and then re-introduce the B-word ("Doesn't that remind you of >> how big a liar Barry is?"). She finds a way to insinuate "Barry, and all >> his sins" into conversations with the few posters still willing to have >> them with her, conversations that had nothing to do with Barry, *hoping >> that the other party will fall for it and give her a chance to dump on >> Barry even more*. >> >> This is my honest opinion of what she does on a regular basis. She will >> in my opinion *keep doing this*. Nothing that any of you who *claim* to >> be tired of the "Barry-Judy feud" do will ever be able to stop this sad >> game. >> >> What you *can* stop is your participation in the game. >> >> If you really *are* tired of the "Barry-Judy feud," *stop being a >> codependent enabler of the feud by "piling on" to it and reactivating it >> every time she tries to get you to do so*. Just say No. Ignore the >> provocation, and the attempt to get you to re-launch a "pile on Barry" >> session, and turn the conversation back to its original subject. The >> solution to ending the supposed feud is as simple as that in my opinion, >> and here's why. >> >> From my side, unilaterally, I will try to ignore the silly bitch, and >> her compulsive "gotta get Barry" posts. This will require no small >> amount of effort on my part, because she's *such* an easy target for >> satire and derision. However, to test the theory that some on this forum >> really *do* want this silly "feud" that she attempts to perpetuate to >> end, I will deny myself the pleasure of pointing out what a nutcase she >> is. :-) >> >> From her side, I think we all know that she will continue to reply to >> many posts I make trying to "correct" them or prove them "wrong" or >> otherwise find a way to turn them into "a perfect opportunity for the >> putdown she has already prepared." I think that we also know that her >> full-time codependent enablers -- Jim, Nabby, Willytex, and occasionally >> others -- will play "pile on" to her obsessive "gotta get Barry" posts >> to give her the chance to post even more of them. >> >> But what are YOU -- the people who claim that you're tired of this feud >> and want it to end -- going to do? >> >> My suggestion is that you try the experiment I described above. For a >> month or two, ignore all of Judy's attempts to get you to "talk about >> Barry." If she tries to get you to participate in such "pile on" >> sessions -- and she will -- just ignore the attempts and, if you are >> enjoying other aspects of an ongoing discussion with her, gently come >> back to the topic. :-) >> >> Consider this a challenge to those who claim that they're tired of the >> feud, but who *enable* it to continue by falling for Judy's "But enough >> about<insert real topic here>; let's talk about Barry" routine. >> >> Just say No, and see what happens. >> > I did not read this post, just the first few sentence - and I read nothing of > any post between you and Judy. I stop as soon as I get a wiff of your > interactions with each other. I think you need to stop reading her posts, > and stop replyng to her and stop writing about her in your posts. And stop > alluding to her in your posts or calling her a TB. That would, for you, put > an end to it. Judy might continue to be angry and to didssect your posts, > but you would not know about it or reply or engage. Prtty simple, really.
I agree. It takes two to tango and Turq seems to be obsessed too. How many times have I read one of his movie reviews where the first paragraph was about the movie and the rest about the movie brought up TB'ers or a certain obsessive personality. Probably time for the kids to grow up.
