I had a guy show up for initiation smelling of alcohol and probably drunk. I wasn't sure if he was sober enough to be initiated but I initiated him. He came for the first night of checking smelling of alcohol. I asked him to see me after the meeting and he ducked out. Never saw him again. Poor bastard.
John Lyons was a beautiful man when I heard him give an introductory lecture in 1972. He was so luscious I was ready to start TM before he said a word. Then he broke the news: Two weeks waiting for using recreational drugs. Really? I was disappointed but unlike the drunk I initiated, I decided to have a good experience and wait the two weeks. I told my boyfriend I was going to start TM and had to give up pot. He said, "I'll teach you to meditate. All you have to do is rub your eyes and you'll see colors." Sex with him was definitely better than his advice. I started TM and he dumped me for another girl, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb <no_reply@...> wrote: > > I thought I'd ask the question, since the subject of > humor or the lack thereof along spiritual paths is still > on my mind. There was a time, back before fun was declared > Off The Program, when funny TMO stories abounded. Here are > two of mine, both puja-related. Neither happened to me, but > they are funny. At least to me. > > In the first incident, a male TM teacher was initiating a > female student, and at the part of the puja where one waves > a little dish of flaming camphor around. A fiery piece of > the camphor fell out of the dish and onto the larger tray > in which he'd placed his entire supply of camphor. A wall > of flame erupted from the tray, several feet high. Thinking > quickly, he looked around the room and found a large empty > flower pot, which he upended over the flaming tray and the > now-scorched white tablecloth, continued the puja, and > instructed the student. At the end of her first meditation, > he said "Slowly open the eyes," and then "It was good?," or > whatever it was that we were supposed to say. > > She replied, "Yes, the meditation itself was good, but I > found myself thinking about when you made the table explode > into flame. Could we do that part again?" > > The second incident also involves a male TM teacher and > a female student, in this case a very attractive one. She > arrived on time for her initiation, bearing the fresh > flowers and fruit she'd been told to bring. But while > preparing the puja table, the initiator noticed that > instead of the clean white handkerchief she'd been told > to bring, she had brought a large white sheet. Folding > it as small as he could he performed the puja and taught > her TM and everything was great. > > At the end of the first night of checking, still curious, > he asked the woman why she'd brought a sheet instead of > a handkerchief. Blushing furiously, she told the initiator > that the night before the instruction she had gone out to > a bar and had met a guy and mentioned to him that she was > going to learn TM the next day. > > He said, "Oh yeah, TM. I've learned that." > > She asked, naturally curious, "So what are the fruit and > the flowers and the handkerchief I've been asked to bring > for? > > The guy said, "Well, the fruit and flowers are kind of > symbolic offerings used by the teacher in the ceremony > that precedes the initiation. The handkerchief is to > cover yourself with when you both get naked." > > The funniest thing, if you think about it, is that she > believed him, and showed up anyway. >
