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<thomas.p...@gmail.com
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<snip>
One of the many reasons Maharishi pulled everyone except the people who believe
they are one of them (like a guitarist?) out of DC.
So true. Take a look at any of them. Children they are not. Addled, yes.
Comes from fetal alcohol or crack syndromes.
Indeed. It used to be that it was legal to mention someone's race in a
newspaper. We had to guess, but not very hard, who was rioting in England.
>
Racism is defined for the current time as calling a spade a spade.
We’re pleased to have Roberta Costa (former Homeland Security agent)
as our visiting interviewer of today’s awakened guest: "Cracker JR McBain."
AGENT COSTA
"Welcome Mr. McBain, its a real pleasure to have you here today,
may I call you Cracker?
JR
“Most people call me JR.
AGENT COSTA
“Sorry JR, please tell us a little about yourself.”
JR
"My name is JR. My fathers name was Cracker. I was born over a junk yard in a
small town called
A HOPE & A PRAYER in the Illinois Ozarks. My earliest childhood memories
are of my Arkansas cousins making fun of my family because we weren’t from
the real Hope---or the real Ozarks for that matter. Both my parents had rage
management
problems which they blamed on Walmart for wiping out my Dad’s oil change
business
when they opened a new store across the street from where we lived. Sam was
alive then and my mother used to hide in the bushes and throw rocks at his
old red pick when he visited his store from time to time. The only taboo
subjects
in our home were Walmart, my parents drinking and what a piss poor shot my
mother was.
The arguing about Walmart got so bad that I eventually ran away and joined the
circus where I got a job cleaning up after elephants. I was eventually fired
when an elephant named
“Crackers” crushed the ring master after I stuffed some fire crackers up his
butt. My take
away from all this was that either God loved crackers or he had a better sense
of humour than my
parents---or the Walton family for that matter. By this time old Sam had gone
to the
big discount in the sky and his family would visit the store across the street
from my parents home
in their big black stretch limo. The first time she tried, my mom put a rock
through the chauffeurs
window and killed him which caused an ugly crash and put my Mom in the hoosegow
for pretty much
the rest of her life. Her defence lawyer was a lady named Hilary who couldn’t
organize a bl** job in a brothel
although that could never be said about her husband.
After the circus I discovered aluminium siding. The first time I sold someone
more of something than
they could possibly afford I knew I had found my calling. It was about this
time that Cracker Sr. showed up.
Mom was gone by then and he wanted to see how I was making so much money. Then
two things happened. First,
he was a terrible salesman with none my qualifying skills and couldn’t
understand that letting the lady of house know
you’re packing was not the way to get them to sign on the line that is
dotted. The second thing was far worse. For
some reason everywhere Cracker went a Walmart seemed to open a new
location within days. It was such an
phenomena that NOVA did a program on it. Since only San Francisco fruits and
uppity women watch PBS you never
catch me tuning in but since it was about Cracker I relented. My passion is
history particularly the civil war although
I won’t give you spit for that fag documentary from Keener Burnbutt. Shortly
after Cracker arrived Walmart showed up
and that was the end of my aluminum siding business.
AGENT COSTA
“Wow and can you tell us a little about your awaking?”
JR
“My first Unity experience came when I merged with the floor
after I big honk of finger nail polish remover. The last thing I remember
was wondering what my friends had been bragging about and the next thing
I knew I was considering myself part of the line of sight of a worn out pattern
on the linoleum of my floor that appeared to be emerging from my nose.”
AGENT COSTA
‘Thats quite a beginning JR, was there anything else you might consider a
little
more permanent to your awaking.
JR
“I would say when I lost my right leg in a head on with a logging truck was
pretty
permanent."
AGENT COSTA
“OK JR, its been a great to hear about your awaking and thanks for dropping by.”
JR
"Wait a minute, I’ve got a lot more to share...”
AGENT COSTA
"Thanks again listeners and please tune in next week for our interview with
WhyNotMakeItUp.
JR
“Listen you wet back piece of....."
