Wow. I am blushing. For real. I like the concept that Robin brings up
about testing one's beliefs against reality. I was raised Jewish,
became new agey pretty early on. I married a devout Catholic women. It
would seem on the outset that it might not be a good match. But it was
an instance, (thank you for this word Ravi) where existence said, this
is it. And after some adjustments we are going into our 21st year
together.
Three kids, (the first when she was 40, the third when she was 45), has
been a blessing. Then running a small business where one interacts with
the public and with a select group of your better customers, as well as
your employees pretty demand that you keep in close touch with reality.
So, thanks for you kind words Emily. Although no one usually perceives
it, I am always thisclose to tears, and you've got me welling up a
little.
always provie--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Emily Reyn
<emilymae.reyn@...> wrote:
>
> Robin, FFL has so missed you! Â You have been brought up many
times. Â I brought you up last night on the lists I was making. Â
Now, I had a problem with this list making. Â So many people were on
so many of the same lists. Â There were a few names that also had an
askerisk by them. Â Yours was one.
>
> Now, in my eminently unqualified analysis, I would say the Steve is
the most normal person on the forum, the one that lives closest to
reality as experienced by the general public. Â I appreciate Steve.
>
> Everyone else (and I include myself in that category at this point) -
not so much. Â
>
> I think Steve may have the best karma of all. Â The rest of
us....not so much. Â Lifetimes of shit, man, lifetimes. Â Even now
departed Bob, young soul that he is - he must have built up a lot of
karma in the few lifetimes he has been here. Â
>
> This forum is cosmically funny. Â And I mean that from where I'm
perched half way up on one of the evergreen trees in my backyard. Â
This is why it is so imperative that you maintain a presence here. Â
Cosmic balance is necessary.
>
> Now first of all, what would this forum do without Judy? Â Like
yourself, her presence is required to maintain cosmic balance. Â
Except, she doesn't withdraw; she puts herself on the front lines every
day. Â I appreciate that about Judy. Â She shows up - I would miss
her terribly if she left.
>
> And second, like Judy, you are a master. Â There are others here,
but I only mention Judy today. Â I so appreciated reading the piece
on you in Rory's autobiography. Â Judy, if you haven't read this, it
is (wait, let me move up a few branches) cosmically funny. Â Robin,
thank god you are here. Â Really now. Â Believe me when I say this
because I have never been more serious about anything in my whole life.
>
> Unenlightend, de-enlightened, enlightened (because without realizing
it, you are still enlightened) - your MO is completely consistent across
all your state's of being. Â Thank you for that. Â I appreciate
that about you. Â And, I don't even have to read your posts out Â
loud anymore, I am learning so much here.
>
> For Barry, let me just say that....
>
> "If you smile at me, I will understand, cause that is something
everybody everywhere does in the same language" - Crosby Still Nash
>
> This forum has mind-fucked me better than anything recently, which is
why I keep laughing. Â I am just barely smart enough to realize my
situation. Â I need a good fuck once in a while. Â
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: maskedzebra no_re...@yahoogroups.com
> To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Friday, January 6, 2012 6:56 AM
> Subject: [FairfieldLife] Revelation and Conversion
>
>
>
> In withdrawing from FFL I have had time to reflect upon my history
there and the characters I have interacted with.
>
> It will perhaps come as a shock to some, but in reading Barry more
closely and without the intense bias that has gripped me right from the
start when Barry appeared to make himself immune to the effects of my
posts, I have concluded that essentially Barry is right. Right not just
about Judy; but right about even myself. Barry is arguing from a point
of view which I have up until very recently been unable to
acceptâ"even tolerate. And this was of course because of his
refusal to take me seriously in what I said in all my posts. For Barry,
these were tedious, narcissistic, and melodramatic. Well, it turns out
he was right. At least this is the conclusion I have come to by being
brave enough to consider that my own defensiveness and touchiness in
reacting to his criticism of me and my posts was preventing me from
having an experience that I needed to have: namely, that my own estimate
of my posts did not necessarily coincide with the truth, with
> reality.
>
> Whereas *his* estimate of my posts did achieve such correspondence.
>
> So, as much as I hate to do this, given how much I have invested in
this anti-Barry project, I have to admit it: Barry is not only correct
in his assessment of Judy (see his argument with Emily and Raunchydog),
his judgment of me and my posts is valid as well.
>
> Now I would just ask the readers of FFLâ"those who have aligned
themselves with Judy, with Robin, with the now departed Bob Price, with
Jim and othersâ"to reconsider their position, since for someone
like myself to undergo a change of perception this significant, a change
which I was determined would not and could not happen, suggests
something very powerful at work here. You remember Saul persecuting the
Christians and then being struck down on the Road to Damascus by Christ,
and in the violence of his conversion becoming a fierce defender of
Christ. Well, although I did not undergo quite as spectacular a
transformation of belief, I think there are parallels here, and to the
extent to which Saul became Paul, I have become a very different Robin.
I don't say that Barry is Jesus or anything like that. That would be
absurd. And even if I did think that Barry was Christ, I know he would
only have contempt for such a view of him. So, no, I won't go that
> far. But I will say that in the main Barry has been right all along,
and even his most vitriolic and bitter posts have been in the service of
somehow forcing people to see what they, like me, were blind to.
>
> Well, I have been persuaded, and in a way which really means
something, that Barry is the martyr here, and I can't tell you (although
Steve perhaps has somewhat had the foretaste of such a
sensationâ"but only very mildly) how much better I feel, not just
in my heart, but in my conscience. I am not going to congratulate myself
on what I have accomplished here in mortifying my pride and my sense of
righteousness to bend the knee and reverse course in my judgment of this
person, but I do think that this is a lesson to all of us: no matter how
certain and convinced one is right about someoneâ"in this case
Barryâ"there is always the possibility (as in the case of Saul)
that one's position actually is in a contradictory relationship to
reality, to truth,â"to the way things really are.
>
> This is undoubtedly the situation here. Barry in his posts has
triumphed. And I am sorry to say this, but for Judy, Raunchydog, Bob
Price, Jim and others not to see this, or at least not to consider this
as a possibility, is nothing less than tragic. For in the end, I assure
you, Barry will be vindicated.
>
> I can only pray that Judy will realize the importance of contemplating
this painful truth when she resumes posting tonight. Judy, are you
there? I beg you to consider what I have said here, that Barry is
sincere and right in his perspectiveâ"not just about you, but
about meâ"and for that matter anyone else at FFL who has
determined that Barry is a negative character (at least in what can be
known about him from his posts which are critical of other posters). For
me, Judy, this process has been very liberating. And I wanted to share
this revelation with you before you, very predictably, went on the
attack, which I believe Barry, presciently, has anticipated will be what
happens just as soon as we see that first post of yours.
>
> Judy, I think you an intelligent and well-meaning person; but Curtis
and Barryâ"and even to some extent, although less passionately,
Steveâ"have identified what is wrong with you; and I think you
must be courageous enough to finally examine yourself, since I, who
until just now was one of your most loyal supporters have undergone an
extraordinary change of heart, and have admitted to myself that you are
the person in the wrong here, that Barry is right. Would you even just
for the sake of how much I have defended you in the past, think about
what I have said here?
>
> I pray that you will do this, Judy. Because were you to find yourself
experiencing what I now experience, you would realize that in seeing
Barry as sincere and right yields up an experience of happiness and
sense of truthfulness which exceeds beyond what you can even imagine the
experience and sense of truthfulness which is the result of holding to
your present prejudice and antipathy towards Barry.
>
> I am not expecting Barry to exonerate me from my past dealings with
him; I don't even say he has to believe me in what I say here. But I can
only say that those who have followed me in all my posts at FFL will
recognize that in this instance, because I am going so much against the
natural direction of my pride and self-esteem, I am communicating a
truth which exceeds in its power and significance anything I have ever
said at FFL.
>
> And I will go one step further. I believe I have laid the basis for
not just a rapprochement among the feuding parties, but the foundation
for a real healing and reconciliation. I don't however believe it is
incumbent upon Barry to respond to this declaration of my newly found
faithâ"that will come soon enough. It is sufficient that
Iâ"and those who will follow me in thisâ"express our
humility and contrition, even though, as surely Barry knows, we were,
when we opposed him, acting out of a sense of sincerity and rightness in
all that we said.
>
> But you see we were wrong. I can't speak for those who remain hostile
to Barry; but I think, as in the case of Saul, there should be some hard
thinking about this whole matter And I would ask at the very least that
there is a moratorium on this Get Barry Campaign (which seemingly never
ends) until there has been time to allow what I have said here to
infiltrate the deeper regions of the heartâ"as well as the mind.
>
> I am sorry, Judy. But this feels better. And I can only wish for you
to have the experience I am having now.
>
>
> Â Â
>
