Many posts made to Fairfield Life seem intended to draw the unsuspecting into long, drawn-out, multi-post arguments or discussions. Once embroiled in one of these tarbaby arguments, newbs (and even many veteran FFLers) find themselves stuck in what can only be described as an enormous waste of their time and energy. In this Public Service Announcement post, I suggest a few "stock answers" to these kinds of posts.
First, it is important to realize that many FFL posts can, once one is hip to what is really going down, be parsed to render them down to their lowest common denominator -- what is really being said or demanded. Once you've done that, how to answer them fully and at the same time avoid a world of trouble is simple. I would suggest that most of these posts can be rendered down to the following brief synopses: OUTRAGED DEMANDS "I am outraged. The things you have done, said, hinted at, or personified just by being <spit> you offend me deeply. So I'm going to rant about the thing that has offended me (you or what you believe) for the next 100-1000 lines of text. <insert rant here> Now that *I* feel better having gotten all of that out of my system, *you* HAVE to respond to it. The proper response, of course, is to acknowledge that I am right and you are wrong, and that you are just as evil as I said you were. Failing that, you should become as angry as I obviously am. But at the very least you HAVE to answer every one of the points I made and insults I hurled at you in detail, so that I can then demean your answers and you, and we can continue to repeat this cycle for another 10 to 20 posts. OK, now it's your turn to respond to my outrage." The proper (sane) answer to posts like this is silence. Crickets. The sound of a wise person ignoring the demand completely, as if it never existed. This has the benefit of saving time and energy, and it has the added benefit of pissing off the person making the demand more than anything you could possibly say in reply. DEMANDS FOR UNEARNED RESPECT "I demand to be taken seriously. You *have* to take me and everything I say seriously, because I deserve it. Failure to do this will be perceived as what it is -- an attack on me personally, possibly even a death threat." The proper response to posts of this type is, of course, the natural one -- laughter. If you can turn the whiny, needy demand to be taken seriously into a joke or parody, even better, because in some cases that can wake the person making such silly demands up and get them to laugh at themselves. Barring this, the most effective answer to someone demanding that you take them seriously is "No." DEMANDS THAT YOU *CHANGE* "I do not like you <you may substitute any other subject in place of 'you'...including FFL itself and its low-vibe ways>. You are not the way that I want you to be. You should CHANGE, and act the way *I* want you to act. Failure to do this will be perceived as a failure on your part, for which you should be ashamed, and other posters should 'pile on' and berate you." Again, the proper time-saving answer is silence, or laughter. Many have found that just saying "No" is also effective. Do not be worried about causing the person making such demands pain or suffering; if they can't get you to listen to them demand over and over that you change, they'll just pick someone else and demand it of them. There are probably a few more stereotypes that common FFL posts can be "rendered down to," but these three cover pretty much 80% of what is said here. For example, all but three of one person's 26 posts so far this week can be parsed to fit one or more of these three categories. By following the above guidelines, you should be able to steer free of such ego-silliness. Alternatively, you could simply focus on the 20% of posters who actually have something to say. Have a good day.
