--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" <curtisdeltablues@...> wrote: > > Wow, I have totally been imagining that image differently > all these years!
It's an image come up with by a guy named John McMenamin, who calls what he does "digital taxidermy." You should check out some of his other images at: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/07/26/animals-digital-taxidermy_n_1706010.html > Thanks for reading it and your kind words. I'm not sure I > am on board with the concepts of a real saint or actual > spiritual experiences. I think I may have sat on the > fence so long on these issues my ass is grooved to keep > me on it! I'm not sure I believe in them, either, as any kind of experience that can be "certified" or "authenticated." I'm just pretty sure that if there is such a thing as real spiritual experience, it isn't equivalent to acting like either a weepy drama queen or a manic gibberbot. :-) > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > So pleased to see more of this street wisdom from you, Curtis. I > > sincerely hope that it turns into a book someday; I will be one > > of the first purchasers. > > > > I particularly liked, "I said that if there was one thing I have > > learned it is that there is a compelling human tendency to > > mistake the fervor of one's beliefs for the > > solidity on which they are based." > > > > Amen. So to speak. :-) > > > > I've found that this is as true with Newagers and wannabee > > Hindus like TMers as it is with Christians or fundie Muslims. > > It's as if they never got any training in how to tell the > > difference between overwhelming emotion and actual spiritual > > experience, or in the difference between just being a drama > > queen and being a saint. > > > > Thanks for taking what could have been just another cock and > > bull story about glassy-eyed proselytutes and turning it into > > something more. > > > > [http://i.huffpost.com/gen/703033/thumbs/o-COCKANDBULL-570.jpg?4] > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" > > <curtisdeltablues@> wrote: > > > > > > Cutting a jaunty jib in his flowing robes, the Lord proclaimed: "their > > mouth hath written a check, that their asses cannot cash." > > > > > > I was having a delightful conversation with an extremely bright young > > bagpiper while breaking down my rig. ((It has taken me this long alive > > to be able to start a post with this fey a line!) Along came a gangly > > dude with a big smile who told me he was a drummer and was interested in > > my drum set-up. I perform with a bass drum on the right and a snare > > drum set up sideways on the left. I replaced a bass pedal beater with a > > drum stick to crack the snare, and I have a board connecting it to a > > high hat so that every time I step on the left side after the boom of > > the bass on the right, I get a very satisfying snap of the snare drum > > combined with the metallic sizzle of the hit-hat cymbals. Drummers who > > usually play a snare with their hands are often fascinated with this > > set-up, and I usually let them take my seat and give it all a try. So > > he sat down and made a passable attempt to get something going. But > > there was some passion missing in his interest that I clocked. He told > > me that my set-up was great and he wanted to tip me and then tried to > > hand me one of those phoney Christian million dollar bills full of dire > > warnings to get on the boat of Jesus or else. As a busker who can spot > > a five dollar bill out of all the ones coming at me from fifty yards > > while playing three instruments at once and still having enough cortical > > activity left to check out the way the sun is streaming through a sun > > dress like the pair of X-Ray specs in the back of the comic books > > promised, I recoiled as if he was trying to hand me a Gabon Viper. > > > > > > "Oh no, I said, legal tender only here. I've had my fill of that gypsy > > trick." > > > > > > "But you should really read it" he implored. > > > > > > "I've not only read it, I've read the Bible many times" I bragged. > > > > > > "Oh, then have you accepted Jesus as your personal savoir?" he asked. > > > > > > We have all been here. The dance is so predictable. Anyone reading > > this probably has fifteen different versions on a continuum of polite to > > "get outta my face" responses. And frankly I am an old codger and he > > was me one hundred years ago, so I will try to refrain from the most > > obvious narrative that I was able to put down a young person with my > > crustiness. Since I had to pack up anyway I let him run his spiel while > > trying to hid the red glow of my eyes as my dark Lord attempted to step > > in and deal with him directly. (I hate when he does that it just scares > > people.) > > > > > > You all know the drill so I wont bore you with his pitch. Anyone here > > could run it themselves from memory I'm sure. Let's just characterize > > it all as presumptions, assumptions and baseless assertions on parade. > > And not the cool kind of parade with those mostly naked samba chicks > > trying to shake off what little they have on. This was an artless > > recitations of the assumptions of Christianity. It was accompanied with > > the earnest but dead-eyed stare of a true believer who was reinforcing > > his own internal surety rather than a sincere attempt to understand me > > as a person. Of course it is also true that I had little interest in him > > as a person at this point especially compared to my new bagpiper friend. > > (Did that just make me sound too much like an old queen? I have to > > watch that!) > > > > > > My response was to fall to my knees, repent my sins and immediately > > accept Jesus as my Lord. (Damn why do all the really good ideas only > > come to us so long after the fact! Wouldn't that have been the most > > entertaining response!) > > > > > > No, I am not that clever, I just asked him how he could possibly claim > > to know such things with such confidence. He responded that the Bible > > was the word of God and it told him these things so he knew they were > > true. I told him that he reminded me of a particularly devout cab > > driver I had in New Delhi who gave me a rap about the virtues of the > > Bhagavad Gita and asked him if he had read it. > > > > > > "No" he said. > > > > > > "Wait a second" now in full crusty codger mode, "you mean to say that > > you are claiming to know that the Bible is the most important revelation > > of God to man and you haven't taken the time to even consider some of > > the other religions claims to the same high ground?" > > > > > > "Well no I don't need to because the Bible is the most popular book in > > the world, the biggest seller, so it is the most important." He was > > seeing my soul slipping away in front of his eyes. > > > > > > "Well Mcdonalds is the most popular food joint, but I won't be > > stopping by there on my way home. And in what other area of human > > knowledge could you proudly state that you had no exposure to the other > > versions of that field, like music. Could I really claim that blues is > > somehow the best or most "whatever" in the world never having listened > > to any other music? It defies common sense that you can claim such > > certain knowledge of the Bible's primacy in matters eternal while > > exhibiting a provincial disregard for other claimers to the throne. (OK, > > I am writing this more eliquantly than I said it, so sue me for being my > > own PR department!) > > > > > > I asked him if he believed that the earth was 5,000 years old and he > > said "yes" and on further probing told me that the dinosaurs had all > > died in Noah's flood. He told me that the scientists were wrong about > > their dating techniques of fossils and his eyes began to cross as I > > attempted to explain how many different ways dates are determined in > > archiology. He was dead sure that all the scientist were wrong but > > didn;t have even the most rudimentary understanding of how they > > determine dates. We agreed to disagree on that point. > > > > > > Then his handler came by and I realized it was actually a whole group > > of them working the boardwalk. His handler was more unpleasantly > > confident about his superior knowledge of man's ultimate condition. He > > tried a few more advanced maneuvers like the bogus Pasquale's wager, > > which of course gave me an intellectual boner demolishing. (Oh wait the > > self-congratulatory tone is creeping in. Let's just say he had never > > opened up such a can of intellectual worms in his life. The wager is > > that if the rewards of heaven are so great, and the cost of belief is so > > small, why not just believe? The problem is that there are literally > > thousands of versions of Gods man has believed in, so you really aren't > > improving your odds of being right much at all to pick one. Pasquale > > got more milage out of this trick pre-Google.) > > > > > > I asked them if they read the Bible in the original language if it is > > so important a book, and they told me God guides them in any language. > > I asked why the Bible didn't even get slavery right and he had a > > convoluted selective reading that made is seem as if the Bible was > > implying the opposite of what it directly states many times. > > > > > > Then he tried the Raganeesh unblinking stare on me to compel me to > > accept baseless assertions as fact. Good luck with that with an old > > rounder like me. I've stared drunks off their bar stools. > > > > > > I wanted to shift from the young lions trying to tame the old lion > > dance we were playing. I wanted side step out of the new guy's ultra > > confidence about his surety into some real connection. I was trying to > > get out of the doctrine over person trip we were laying on each other. > > > > > > I said that if there was one thing I have learned it is that there is > > a compelling human tendency to mistake the fervor of one's beliefs for > > the solidity on which they are based. I don't know the ultimate > > reality of life and I don't see any reason to accept that you do. You > > don't seem to have done even the minimal due diligence in the field of > > religion. So there is no way to distinguish your surety from the guys > > who are so sure of their knowledge of their scriptures like the Koran. > > Humans suck at this. We have a horrible track record of using faith > > over reason and it continues to cause mankind much pain. (So THAT was my > > way of making a more genuine human connection? I wonder why that didn't > > work!) > > > > > > At this point the rest of the group came by to rescue them from my > > codgerhood, and I noticed that they had a couple of young babes who were > > doing some flirty fishing. At first I felt a bit ripped off because I > > though I could have been laying my crusty rap on a young girl instead of > > a geeky guy while vampirizing the hydration of their skin with each > > lingering gaze. But then I saw the flintiness of their eyes, so similar > > to the hard looks you get in strip clubs as they extract dollars in > > return for their hungover darshon. I realized that I wanted nothing to > > do with this kind of chick. > > > > > > They told me they would pray for me, which they did in a group to get > > the last one-upsmanship with the big Guy, thier big invisible rabbit > > God, a collage of myths swirling around their minds including some Holy > > Ghost (knocked up Mary so must have ghostly naughty parts), Jesus (S and > > M fetishist extroidinair) and the Holy Father himself (whose pastimes > > include torturing his own son to eliminate the sins from the creatures > > whose natures he himself created) > > > > > > As I trundled off to my car and as I was loading, I caught a glimps of > > some movement out of the corner of my eye. Good Old Johnathan (NO ITS > > JOHN PAUL NOW) was stopping by to collect his rosary of repetitions from > > me. > > > > > >
