Thank you for this, they were fantastic.

--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "salyavin808" <fintlewoodlewix@...> wrote:
>
> 
> SOCIALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You give one to your neighbour
> 
> COMMUNISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and gives you some milk
> 
> FASCISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and sells you some milk
> 
> NAZISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and shoots you
> 
> BUREAUCRATISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
> throws the milk away
> 
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy
> grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income
> 
> ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
> credit opened by
> your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
> associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
> exemption
> for five cows.
> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
> Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
> sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
> one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
> leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
> The public then buys your bull.
> 
> SURREALISM
> You have two giraffes.
> The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
> 
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to
> produce the milk of four cows.
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
> the cow has dropped dead.
> 
> A GREEK CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking
> sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
> dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
> You still only have two cows.
> 
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
> three
> cows.
> 
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
> produce
> twenty times the milk.
> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
> market it worldwide.
> 
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows,
> but you don't know where they are.
> You decide to have lunch.
> 
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
> You charge the owners for storing them.
> 
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
> 
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You worship them.
> 
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Both are mad.
> 
> AN IRAQI CORPORATION
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
> You tell them that you have none.
> No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your
> country.
> You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
> 
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
> 
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> The one on the left looks very attractive...
>


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