--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Ann" <awoelflebater@...> wrote:
>
> See Steve, this is why I appreciate you. And I will tell you something that
> might make you blush because, actually, I believe you are a healthy, gently,
> reasonable person PLUS I think you are one of the more courageous posters
> here. Why? Because you NEVER hesitate to answer a post, to go into the lion's
> lair or what may not turn out to be a dangerous place but still COULD be. You
> will take a chance and you will respond. Whether people agree with you or
> think you are a blundering fool is not the point. The point is I believe you
> to have integrity and strength that is born of a gentle spirit. If I have
> told you once I have told you ten times: you are a good man. And never forget
> it.
>
> --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "seventhray27" <steve.sundur@> wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Ann" <awoelflebater@> wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "seventhray27" steve.sundur@
> > wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Your blind is showing again Ann. Glaringly so. I don't know how that
> > > > could be possible, but it is.
> > >
> > > What is a "blind"? spot (my bad)
> > >
> > > > Your pulling rank here is pretty nonsensical.
> > >
> > > No, there is no pulling rank. I am simply stating that if Curtis does
> > not enjoy what Robin writes, or the position he feels he is being put in
> > he should just stop engaging. Even his good buddy Barry has told him
> > that time and time again.
> >
> >
> > I think you might be missing the spirit of the exchanges here. The
> > purpose is that hopefully we communicate in such a way that maybe we
> > have little breakthroughs. That maybe we further our understanding
> > about things. And I think that can be a pretty persistent hope, so one
> > continues to post in that spirit even when it doesn't seem to be
> > happening. Does that make sense to you, or are you one for throwing in
> > the towel at the first sign of resistance. I don't believe for a second
> > for that to be the case.
> >
> > I find Curtis to be extremely patient. And for whatever reason I find
> > him to be the reasonable one in these discussions. I perfectly
> > understand if you don't, but I reserve the right to comment if I feel
> > that you, or anyone else is a little off base. And certainly you do
> > that with me. So, let's live and let live.
> >
> >
> > > Life is "nonsensical", all the time. Can you make heads or tails of
> > it? I can't. And anyway, I have lots of scars to show as a result of my
> > time around Robin. Some were inflicted by him, some by my friends and
> > some by myself. It is a simple fact: I went through a kind of war and I
> > wear those scars as badges of honour. I admit it - I am happy that I
> > experienced all of it, grew as I emerged and am the person I am now.
> > There is no rank pulling.
> >
> > That's all neat. But it was some time ago, and now a new chapter has
> > emerged. And in many ways it seems quite similiar to what has been
> > described previously. That does make me sad a little. But it also
> > interesting to see it play out in a new way. It bothered me to hear
> > Curtis call Robin a troll, but it is also dumb to make a post as another
> > person. It seems the only reason to do that was to elicit some
> > response he wasn't getting any other way.
> >
> > We have all been through our personal "wars" our suffering, our growth
> > our battles. What was your greatest personal achievement?
> >
> > Is it too lame to say that I've made it through another day? Sort of
> > that "one day at a time" philosophy. I guess to answer your question,
> > it would be being a parent, raising a family, running a small business,
> > and trying to stay totally honest with myself, and staying on the
> > spiritual path, that seems to be laid out before me.
> >
> > Does this engender any kind of pride or satisfaction in your idea, you
> > perception of yourself? I certainly hope you can say it does. Life can
> > exact a heavy toll, survivors have earned the right to a certain level
> > of self satisfaction at simply remaining upright and coherent.
> >
> >
> > Yes, I agree
> > > >
> > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Ann" <awoelflebater@> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues"
> > > > curtisdeltablues@ wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Back when this first came up I supported Share's flamboyant
> > choice
> > > > of words to sum up how it feels to be the focus of Robin's
> > assumption
> > > > that you are not aligned with "reality" and his writing is going to
> > jolt
> > > > you into an ability to face life in a Robin approved more real way.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I call it "mindfuckery", but Share's term conveys more how
> > invasive
> > > > this unfriendly assumption feels from the receiving end. Combined
> > with
> > > > the word flooding it is quite unpleasant.
> > > > >
> > > > > Neither of you have anything on my experience with Robin, not even
> > > > close, not even in the same ballpark. Three and a half years around
> > him
> > > > physically up to 10-15 hours a day just puts my exposure to his
> > > > "mindfuckery", his "word flooding" so far beyond your ability to
> > even
> > > > conceive of such a thing that it makes me smile, just a little. And
> > boy,
> > > > you think he can mess with you now, 30 years ago you would have
> > lasted
> > > > about an hour at the mic. And even during all that time I wouldn't
> > have
> > > > characterized it as 'psychological rape". I could and would and did
> > call
> > > > it lots of other things but never quite that. Still, you have the
> > option
> > > > to stop reading, stop responding but you don't. I noticed recently
> > that
> > > > when you have been absent for a while and Robin intermittently shows
> > up
> > > > so do you. So somewhere, somehow, for some reason, you keep
> > gravitating
> > > > toward the opportunity to interact with him. Now either stop whining
> > and
> > > > complaining or ignore him and all things 'him' totally.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > In my view it would be Robin who would owe the apology for
> > acting in
> > > > a way that would make someone think this term was the best way to
> > > > describe it.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > And instead of taking the feedback of how far over the
> > boundaries
> > > > line he had crossed...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > she got and still gets the predictable pile on for feeling this
> > way.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Note to Share: You will never be able to appease this unfriendly
> > > > agenda no matter what you say. It is s double bind where the
> > > > "sincerity" of even an unnecessary apology will be judged by them.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > And again you will lose because that is how the formula works.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "authfriend" <authfriend@>
> > > > wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Nothing you have to say, Share, about "apologizing" or
> > > > > > > "making amends" is the least bit credible as long as
> > > > > > > you have not apologized for calling Robin a
> > > > > > > "psychological rapist."
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > In that case you and Robin never got to the "second step"
> > > > > > > because you never took the first step. I'm virtually
> > > > > > > positive that second step would be forthcoming from Robin
> > > > > > > as soon as you were to take the first step: he would
> > > > > > > forgive you if you apologized sincerely.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > That you have not yet done so is a terrible blot on your
> > > > > > > character.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long
> > <sharelong60@>
> > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Judy and Ann, as in 12 Steps, I tend to focus on the making
> > > > amends part of an apology. Even in our recent exchange I asked
> > > > Robin how I could make amends for misunderstanding him about his
> > turq
> > > > post and Curtis exchange. For me it is the making amends that is
> > > > the sine qua non of an apology and this is where the cost comes
> > in.Â
> > > > And of course the cost or amends is meant to address the actual
> > > > consequences. Such as a restitution of money in the case of a
> > > > compulsive gambler who lost the family savings for example.Â
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > But the first step is to offer
> > > > > > > > apologies and amends and the second step is up to the other
> > > > person. Robin and I did not get to the second step last
> > year.Â
> > > > And it seems we're not getting to it again. But I've made my
> > offer
> > > > and stand by it.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > As for frequency, it could be from my Catholic
> > upbringing.Â
> > > > In those days many people went to confession every week. Also I
> > say
> > > > it just in case I've hurt someone's feelings. The better I know
> > FFL
> > > > people the more I'll dispense with that.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > ________________________________
> > > > > > > > From: authfriend <authfriend@>
> > > > > > > > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
> > > > > > > > Sent: Monday, April 8, 2013 12:19 AM
> > > > > > > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: parsing a la Descartes was
> > HITLER'S
> > > > VALENTINE
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Â
> > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Ann" <awoelflebater@>
> > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > (snip)
> > > > > > > > > You and Robin seemed to be able to engage in some
> > wonderful
> > > > > > > > > dialogue back then. And for the record, I DO think Curtis
> > > > > > > > > meant that from the BEGINNING, (I'm not bothering with the
> > > > > > > > > "outset" or the "onset", I'm not getting embroiled in the
> > > > > > > > > semantics of that)
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Right, that's irrelevant. That was laughinggull's error, and
> > > > > > > > even if LG had been correct, it would have made no
> > difference
> > > > > > > > to what Curtis said.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > that Robin was itching for some kind of fight with you.
> > > > > > > > > Curtis is arguing against this but I am not buying that
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > There are a number of reasons not to buy it, including
> > > > > > > > his insistence that it was "obvious" what he meant when
> > > > > > > > what was obvious was that what he said was at best
> > > > > > > > *ambiguous*.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Furthermore, he completely ignored the fact that Robin
> > > > > > > > was responding to an extremely unfriendly post of Share's,
> > > > > > > > in which she had accused him of being "sarcastic and
> > > > > > > > accusatory when [Curtis] sounded reasonable." This was
> > > > > > > > with reference to Robin's critique of Curtis's response
> > > > > > > > to your post about Barry, Ann.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > (snip)
> > > > > > > > > I believe I have said this before to you, but not in quite
> > > > > > > > > the same way; apologizing can be a means of avoidance. It
> > > > > > > > > can appear so generalized, so non-specific that it seeks
> > to
> > > > > > > > > encompass everything and manages to address nothing
> > relevant.
> > > > > > > > > You blanket the world with apologies just in case offense
> > > > > > > > > has been taken somewhere. It is like you seek to inoculate
> > > > > > > > > yourself against possible offense taken by others before
> > > > > > > > > they even have time to react.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > It also cheapens the significance of the apology. If someone
> > > > > > > > is constantly apologizing for insignificant or nonexistent
> > > > > > > > offenses thinking it will make themselves look good, what
> > > > > > > > will an apology from this person mean for something that
> > > > > > > > really requires an apology?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > If an apology costs nothing to make, it's worthless to
> > > > > > > > the person to whom it is given.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > It would cost Share something to apologize for calling
> > > > > > > > Robin a psychological rapist. But she isn't willing to
> > > > > > > > give that much of herself to right the grievous wrong
> > > > > > > > for which she was responsible.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
>
