I'm only a lurker in this dialog. I haven't read all the exchanges that have 
gone on in the latest conflict. Until these last few posts, I knew next to 
nothing about what you have expounded here Judy. Thanks for filling in some 
history for me. I don't know if I will go back and read all of the recent 
conflict or the prior history, but at least I have a place to start if I decide 

Reading the bit I have as I have lurked, the dialog is all too familiar within 
the anti-cult circles I've had brushes with. Projection. Sidestepping 
accountability for one's words. Speculating of other people's motives. 

As I've read, I've not been sure who to believe and wondered why I even care. I 
thought how I sometimes long for innocence and wish to be an ostrich...as trite 
and childish as that may sound. 

I wrote some thoughts earlier after reading Judy's initial post today, trying 
to work through some of the muddle in my own head as I've read bits of this 
recent conflict. 

In writing those thoughts, I wondered why am I muddled? Why does this stuff 
even matter to me? Should I state anything publicly? Will I sound foolish? What 
if I do sound foolish, what difference does it really make? Has some of the 
dialog 'triggered' my own stuff that I am still working through after my 
involvement in a 'cult' and certain anti-cult 'cults?' 

I questioned my own biases and fairness. Do I judge other's motives? How much 
do I project? How much do my biases play into reading others? Like others, my 
own experiences have caused me to be less trusting of others; I already had 
been well trained to not trust my self and was gaining much ground in that area 
until the Knapp crap. I have picked up many of those pieces, but reading this 
recent dialog brought some of that stuff up again. 

Years ago, Judy had read Knapp correctly and called him out. I won't go into 
how I had rationalized the Knapp I thought I knew when I first came to FFL in 
2010(?) or maybe it was 2009(?) and read some of Judy's posts calling Knapp 
out. I would never (at that time) have imagined she would be so spot on. But 
she was. Could she be right again?

I'll stop here... 

A few of my muddled thoughts...for what they're worth. 


--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "authfriend" <authfriend@...> wrote:
> --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Ravi Chivukula <chivukula.ravi@> wrote:
> >
> > Thanks for this, you knew Curtis was twisting here since
> > they were full of mutual admiration back then. Robin was
> > certainly a very fascinating character but I couldn't
> > understand Robin's fascination and admiration for Curtis
> > when he came on board but then figured he would have to
> > figure Curtis out for himself, which he did.
> Curtis was on his very best behavior, at his most charming,
> with Robin at first. Their dialogue was really scintillating,
> some of the best I've seen on any Web forum. It was beautiful
> to see how much Robin was enjoying himself after his bleak
> quarter-century in virtual exile. He just expanded like a
> flower.
> I had no clue what was going to happen down the road. Even
> after they first began to fall out, reading their exchanges
> was like watching a highly competitive contest between two
> extremely skilled players. After each post, you couldn't wait
> to see how the other guy could possibly top it.
> > I don't believe you and I ever interfered in their
> > correspondence, I certainly never did
> At one point toward the end I became a topic of their
> arguments, and I had to step in and correct some things
> Curtis said about me that were not accurate. But
> otherwise I just soaked up their brilliance.
> > and had zero interest in their dialogue at that point - I
> > used to be too high anyway.
> Yeah, you were doing your own thing. If you ever have a
> dull patch, though, go back and take a look at their
> exchanges. Terrifically entertaining, and heart-wrenching
> to watch it crash and burn.

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