Jesus, This Week News Breaking News: Boston News ISSUE 4916 Apr 18, 2013
Christ, reports confirmed, this is some kind of week. WASHINGTONCalling the last four days of American life just...I mean, talk about a goddamned punch in the gut, citizens across the nation confirmed today that, Jesus, this week. This fucking week, sources added. Christ. "Seriously, can we wrap this up already?" Maryland resident James Alderman told reporters, echoing the thoughts of all 311 million Americans, who have just about reached their weekly goddamned quota for carnage, misery, confusion, heartbreak, and rage. "Because, you know, I'm pretty sure we've all had our hearts ripped out of our chests and stomped on enough times for one seven-day period, thank you very much."... "Maybe next time we have a week, they can try not to pack it completely to the fucking brim with explosions, mutilations, death, manhunts, lies, weeping, and the utter uselessness of our political system," said basically every person in America who isn't comatose or a complete sociopath. "You know, maybe try to spread some of that total misery across the other 51 weeks in the year. Just a thought."... Read more: http://www.theonion.com/articles/jesus-this-week,32105 (Don't miss the Breaking News stories listed on the left.)
