First of all Buck, it is great that you care and have evidently made some detailed observations of the situation. I think your instincts are on target with reference to the unhealthy relationship between "leader" and "follower". Unfortunately there is probably nothing to be done. All you can do is what you do when there is someone dear to you who is either a drug addict or an alcoholic - you let them know you know what is going on and give them an opening to use you in some way that could free them from their predicament if they so wish. Obviously the hanger on doesn't feel there is anything that is more desirable in their lives to pursue than this manipulative religious guy. He wants to be with the stronger guy, he has chosen to put up with whatever his "mentor" wants to throw at him. He is getting some 'reward' for being abused and pushed around. Until he no longer feels good under this treatment he will stick around.
Frankly, from your description of this 'leader' guy, it appears he is under some delusion of knowing stuff others are not privy to. Therefore he is special and should be listened to. It is always the same, in one form or the other ; it is implied that 'if you follow me' you are special in some way and in contact with something, through me, that you would otherwise not have access to. It is tempting, heady and drug-like. I would like to meet this man, this "prophet". I always enjoy seeing the trip these guys are on. I'm afraid I am a bit of a hard sell these days though. But you go ahead and see what you can learn Buck; human beings are infinitely varied and fascinating. ---In fairfieldlife@yahoogroups.com, <dhamiltony2k5@...> wrote: Awoelf, the leader seems is in to interpreting divine significations in things happening around him to make events and people seem extremely important to him and connect to larger things. He's an ultra religious guy. Has a lot of religious text in his head to draw on. The follower though is along for some kind of ride. I have run in to both around town now and had conversations letting them talk as I mostly asked questions and listened. This last weekend a clinical social worker was visiting town and ran in to these two around the square in Fairfield and talked with them a few times. The social worker by training and career clinical experience was appalled by what was publicly going on between the two. The leader being incredibly demeaning of the younger guy in front of other people, in front of public saying things extremely critical of the younger's dress, cleanliness and demeanor and then would do it in ways to get who ever was listening to him to agree and collaborate in the chastisement. The younger guy really was fine enough in dress, care and demeanor. The social worker separately ran in to the younger person later and asked why he stayed around the leader[?]. The younger answered saying that, 'you get used to it'. Being squashed and humiliated? I talked with the younger guy independently at a different time and got a little of his story. Doesn't hold a bachelor degree but some college level study. Has worked doing some copy editing and in libraries and liked that. Might like to go to seminary. Says going back to family as an option is too complex. Follower is about 10 years younger than the leader. The follower evidently is estranged from family back home and has been with the leader for a while going to Jerusalem, Europe and some US places as they travel. The social worker was from out of town and only here in Fairfield attending a folk dance weekend for fun. The social worker by professional career experience was especially concerned by what was seen and heard. The older guy is really clever manipulative. Awoelf, you evidently have had some experience with this. What would you tell the younger guy to do? There are resources that deal with this that he could turn to for extracting himself? It does not seem that he can just go back to family, friends or some place necessarily. Just wondering what you'd say to the follower. -Buck ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <awoelflebater@...> wrote: ---In fairfieldlife@yahoogroups.com, <dhamiltony2k5@...> wrote: NPD Heads-up. Seems there is a guy and a follower This is so funny, "a guy and a follower". Doesn't sound like this "guy" is too charismatic if he has one lonely "follower" in his retinue. who showed up in town in the last few days with these kinds of traits. Tells a good story, really smart but incredibly manipulative and evidently abusive with the younger follower. Lot like that other guy that used to post here. I sent this new guy on to find the afternoon Fairfield illumined experience banana-gram group. I think they have the resources to deal with him safely and will appreciate him a lot. -Buck
