> > I don't know about anyone else, but I find the 
> > concept of women thinking of a man as a "good
> > catch" because of his income more offensive than
> > any of the racist epithets attributed here to Tom.
> >
> ********
> 
> Why would you be offended by this? It's a simple fact of life,
> affirmed to be so by many intelligent women in private 
> conversation and also by normal observations.

No argument there. It's just that personally I would
never have anything to do with any woman who was
interested in me for my money (not that I have a lot
of it). I *know* that it's a factor in many women's
search for a partner; it's just that I'm not searching
for "many women," just one who is looking for a little
more out of life than an easy life.

> A fairly smart guy with some expertise in this area told 
> me once that men who want to be loved "for themselves", and 
> not for their incomes, basically want mother love from their 
> spouses, and are not confident about their abilities to be 
> a "provider". 

I agree with the first phrase, but not with the latter.
I'm already a "provider" for several people I'm not
married to or involved with in a romantic sense; that's
not an issue. I help to support them (some of them are 
artists whose work I support) primrily *because* they
never asked for or expected anything from me. I liked
their work, I liked their intent, so I help to support
them. None of them takes me for granted or feels that
he or she has a "free ride" from me; they all work to
support *themselves*, and I help out as much as I can. That
seems to me to be a fairly sound basis for a romantic/
marriage relationship as well.

In other words, the chances of me becoming the sole
provider for someone who just sits back and does
nothing to support herself are pretty much nil.  :-)

> I am not pointing a finger here, nor making an accusation. 
> This is just what came up in repsonsive to your remarks 
> above regarding what you found "offensive".

No problem with it coming up. It's just a personal
preference with me. I got so disgusted with the
money-grubbing mentality of California women (espec-
ially Southern California women) that I left the
state, never to return. I think it's something in
the water there. :-)

Call me a hopeless romantic (actually, I'm more of
a hopeful romantic), but I'm still holding out for
someone who has less pragmatic and more cosmic 
reasons for forming a relationship than finding 
someone to pay her bills.

Unc








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