--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "qntmpkt" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > (from a website on the Great Compassion Mantra). Even Enlightened > people can experience inauspicious deaths. A higher form of > biological evolution would be the attainment of a "Rainbow Light > Body". (even before physical death). > > The bad deaths are: > 1. They will not die of starvation or privation > 2. They will not die from having been yoked, imprisoned, caned or > otherwise beaten > 3. They will not die at the hands of hostile enemies > 4. They will not be killed in military battle > 5. They will not be killed by tigers, wolves, or other evil beasts > 6. They will not die from the venom of poisonous snakes, black > serpents, or scorpions > 7. They will not drown or be burned to death > 8. They will not be poisoned to death > 9. They will not die as a result of sorcery > 10. They will not die of madness or insanity > 11. They will not be killed by landslides or falling trees > 12. They will not die of nightmares sent by evil people > 13. They will not be killed by deviant spirits or evil ghosts > 14. They will not die of evil illnesses which bind the body > 15. They will not commit suicide
For some reason, this text's fascination with "bad" ways to die reminds me of the following Monty Python skit, especially the hymn at the end: [Headmaster Humphrey Williams addresses the bored looking assembly] Humphrey: " And spotteth twice, they, the camels before the third hour. And so the Midianites went forth to Ram Gilead in Kadesh Bilgemath, by Shor Ethra Regalion, to the house of Gash-Bil-Bethuel- Bazda: he who brought the butter dish to Balshazar and the tent peg to the house of Rashomon. And there slew they the goats, yea, and placed they the bits in little pots." Here endeth the lesson. Chaplain: Let us praise God. [The congregation rises.] Chaplain: O Lord Congregation: O Lord Chaplain: ooh, You are so big Congregation: ooh, You are so big Chaplain: so absolutely huge. Congregation: so absolutely huge. Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You. Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You. Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and Congregation: and barefaced flattery. Chaplain: But You're so strong and, well, just so super. Congregation: Fantastic! Chaplain: Amen. Congregation: Amen. [The congregation sits again.] Humphrey: Now, two boys have been found rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant. Now, some of you may feel that the cormorant does not play an important part in the life of the school, but I would remind you that it was presented to us by the Corporation of the town of Sudbury to commemorate Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of all those from the Sudbury area who so gallantly gave their lives to keep China British. So, from now on, the cormorant is strictly out of bounds! Oh, and Jenkins, apparently your mother died this morning. Chaplain? [The Chaplain leads the congregation in a hymn.] Chaplain, Congregation: [singing] Oh, Lord, please don't burn us, Don't grill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock. Don't braise or bake or boil us, Or stir-fry us in a wok. Oh please don't lightly poach us, Or baste us with hot fat, Don't fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in a vat, And please don't stick thy servants Lord, In a Rotissomat... :-) ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Join modern day disciples reach the disfigured and poor with hope and healing http://us.click.yahoo.com/lMct6A/Vp3LAA/i1hLAA/UlWolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
