--- In [email protected], Rick Archer <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > on 4/16/06 11:22 AM, authfriend at [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > > > The issue is not *that* we "become involved in somebody > > else's business," but *how* we become involved. If we > > stick to substance and don't make false accusations and > > don't insult one another and try to be objective and > > *fair* in our exchanges, there will be no feuds. > > This is the best paragraph in your whole post. Unfortunately there > are a lot of "ifs" in it. The problem is that you and Barry seem to > be incapable of living up to all of them. You'll probably say that > you are but Barry isn't. Barry would probably say that he is and > you aren't.
And the only reason you could possibly put any stock in such a claim from Barry would be that you haven't read his posts in our exchanges. How about the one I quoted that started the current exchange that I quoted? Do you think it lives up to those criteria? How about the most recent one in which he claims I'm a "paranoid obsessive" for thinking his earlier post was an attack on me? Does *that* one live up to those criteria? I think you'd find it a whole lot harder to find evidence of dishonesty or unfairness in my posts. It isn't just a matter of claims and counterclaims. It's not a matter of moral equivalence. There's clear-cut evidence that one of our claims to be observing the criteria is a whole lot more valid than the other. But you have to *read the posts* to be able to tell. > Meanwhile, everyone else just wishes the feuding would stop Expressing dismay over the feud isn't going to stop it. That isn't going to convince Barry to become honest and fair and objective and refrain from insults. But if he were to encounter disapproval of his inability to observe these criteria from others--from those with whom he isn't engaged in a running feud--it might help. If he were to make a major, good-faith effort to observe the criteria I outlined, I would have no more problem maintaining my objectivity and refraining from insults than I currently do being fair and honest. Alternatively, if others were to criticize his posts for their unfairness, dishonesty, etc., I wouldn't feel the need to do so. As I said, feuds don't exist in a vacuum. It's ridiculous for Barry to have to killfile me in order to refrain from attacking me. That isn't self-control, that's avoidance and denial. And it hasn't ever worked any of the dozens of times he's tried it anyway. As I said, feuds don't exist in a vacuum. To end a feud any way other than by brute force, you have to sort out who is the aggrieved party and find a way to address their grievance. You're reluctant to employ brute force, but you don't seem willing to attempt it the other way either. To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
