No problem at all, Curtis, and thank you for the apology. It was probably somewhat tacky of me to bring it up at all, after all this time. Seems like almost another lifetime.

I do give TM and the TMO credit for a lot of things, though, and still would never have traded my time there. I was never in the hierarchy, I was just your basic nobody, but that was fine with me as the people I met were a far nicer bunch than any I had met before. Except for my failed attempt at TTC, I was very happy to be just another meditator. I probably still would be had things not gotten so crazy. DC was great, though, and I still keep up and have remained friends with with a number of people I met there.

And it's always great to hear about people I knew there, like yourself, who have gone on and made really positive changes in their lives, especially when it involves something creative. Bet if we all pooled our stories we could come up with a heck of a book.


On May 11, 2006, at 8:49 PM, curtisdeltablues wrote:


I am sincerely sorry for the pain that must have cost you.  The fact
that it may have saved you a huge mind F was no consolation for you
back then.

I went through a similar thing myself when my sidhaland ran out of
money to send me to TTC after 3 years labor, but made it look like I
was rejected.  It was only explained to me years later by one of the
directors.  It broke my heart in many pieces, so I think I know how
you might have felt. I am sure the reason we participated in hurting
your feelings was because you showed some version of not being
controlled by the movement policies.  That was the most important
criteria that I remember.  Of course now I realize that this was a
sign of a person being a more developed human being outside of their
movement identity.

In running the DC center I was tyrannized by all of the National
organization, who all lived close by, and who could cut your out of
your future with a pen stroke. I was more than willing to toe the
line. I had been elected to the position by 300 TM teachers in the
area whose eyes were on me with various agendas.  It was a razor's
edge to walk that line.

If a person was not following the TM rules, I would have tried to
handle it myself rather than report it.  Usually we would get a few
teachers together and talk with the person from our high horses of
virtue.  I can't remember ever reporting anyone to National, but I
certainly wouldn't put it past me then.  I wanted to do the "right"
thing in the worst possible way. We had some written instructions for
holding the TTC and Sidha application meetings.  I can't remember the

Thanks for telling me.  Please accept my apology.

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