> A number of people besides me during that "feud" thread called Barry
> on his behavior and actions. While he met the criticisms with
> bravado and is defintiely still Barry, he also seems to have
> modified his bahavior substantially. (I'm not positing a causal
> relationship between forum members expressing their dissatisfaction
> with the feud and his changing his behavior, but it's a pleasant
> correlation ;)--or is that a pissant correlation? I get mixed up)
> But Judy, like so many others who have commented recently, I think
> it is you who need learn something from this one. Most people here
> like you, and when people who like you are telling you that your
> behavior is out of line and needs to be examined, maybe it's time to
> listen to them. Shemp's "statutue of limitations" comment pretty
> well sums it up, I think.
> I'm posting this because I had the lurking temerity to jump into the
> other discussion and express my incredulity at some of Barry's
> behavior and some sense of fair play, misguided or not, says I
> should balance it out. The anonymous pissant lurker who couldn't
> let Barry off the hook, can't let you off either. You appreciated
> my comments about Barry, I hope you appreciate these too.
Ya know, I'd be a whole lot more open to your
comments if you showed any sign of having read my
responses to similar critiques from others.
If it weren't for posts from two brave souls who had
read enough of the discussion between me and Curtis
to have a relatively clear idea of what actually went
on, and several supportive emails from folks who also
had a clear picture but didn't quite have the nerve
to buck the mob mind and post publicly, I'd think I
was living in some alternate universe, and that the
critics had read an entirely different exchange than
the one I actually had with Curtis.
I've done my best to correct the record, including
quotations and references to specific posts, to
absolutely zero effect. Not one of the critics has
said, "Oh, so *that's* what really happened--I
missed those particular posts. Sorry!" nor has any
of them addressed what I said substantively in any
way, even to disagree.
You can go back and read my responses to the critics
if you have any interest in what really took place.
I'm just going to reproduce here part of one post to
Rick (which he, of course, ignored completely) that
addresses your comment above about how Barry has
allegedly modified his behavior (I don't quite see it,
but anyway...) and how you apparently don't think I
have. Here it is (Rick first):
> I have my critics on this forum, and
> when any of them criticizes me I don't brush them off or go
> ballistic trying to defend myself. I feel somewhat chastised and I
> take a moment to reflect on whether their criticism may be true.
Rick, think a minute. Why do you imagine my first post
to Curtis was as cordial as it was? And why did I try
to keep him from provoking an argument with me?
Why do you think I've been cutting short the arguments
Shemp has tried to start with me lately?
Please give this a moment's reflection.
When you've been doing your best to *avoid* the kind
of thing folks have expressed their displeasure at,
and they then accuse you of doing it anyway, it's very
difficult not to speak up and point out that *this*
time they've gotten it wrong. You'd have to be a
masochist, or have very low self-regard, to meekly
take the attacks without objection.
You see me being testy, but what you *don't* see is
all the times when I've refrained from being testy
recently. I've been genuinely trying to refrain more
That's why I attempted to abort the discussion with
For instance, I realize that I have
> been overly obsessed with the MMY/sex thing and I've done a fair
> amount of soul searching on why that bothers me so much. If
> virtually everyone who cared to comment were repeatedly pointing
> out to me that I had a tendency which seriously annoyed them, I
> think it would result in some reflection.
It did with me, and I've been acting on it. Not
perfectly, but I've been trying.
> Having said that, I'm joining curtis in backing out the door ....
> What if you gave an argument and nobody came ....
> Disclaimers :)
> Nobody put words in my mouth.
> Nobody gave me a script.
> I have never corresponded with Barry or anyone else on this forum
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