issued a warning about a new virulent strain of a
sexually transmitted disease. The disease is
contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim.
Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having
been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive
characteristics of individuals infected include:
anti-social personality disorders, delusions of
grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive
dissonance, inability to incorporate new information,
pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept
responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by
misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking,
ignorance of geography and history, tendencies
towards evangelical theocracy, and categorical all-
or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists
are amazed at how this destructive disease has spread
this far in only a few years, from a lone bush
originally found in Texas.
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