While I fully understand why you would want to break out of the FF Life habit, I hope you'll reconsider. It's in large part posts like yours that make this place worth visiting at all, you have friends here, and the people that seem hell-bent on running you (and some others with whom they disagree) out are few in number, and bound to leave themselves at some point.

It sounds like you have truly fashioned a fulfilling life, and are enjoying it to the max. I often wonder about a few of the other posters here, the ones who go on and on, posting ad nauseam, whether they have much of any life or ever leave their computers except to eat and sleep. And what is the point of the constant attacks (undoubtedly they will say they're not attacks, merely observations, and if they're not true it shouldn't matter, but that is, of course, bull-poop), and the constant mean-spirited implications that someone has "problems" they clearly do not have? Makes you wonder what those people are themselves concealing. Not to mention the fact that name-calling and other denigrating tactics have absolutely no place in any responsible conversation. I think you and the others have dealt with it admirably, but it's not real surprising it's taken its toll.

While I doubt can come up with anything that will change your mind, I'll tell you what I do to try and stay out of the cesspool, and which helps me make some sense out of this place. I try not to reveal any more of my personal life than is absolutely necessary to make whatever point I am trying to make, and I filter out those posters I consider to be out-of-control (either in extremist viewpoints or simply in volume). We all have limited time to spend here, why bother wasting it on people who seem hell-bent on drawing others into the muck.

Anyway, those are just a few of the thoughts that come to mind--more later.


On Jul 31, 2006, at 4:49 AM, TurquoiseB wrote:

Yesterday was a real wake-up call for me.
I started the day with a great meditation
that left me happy and fulfilled, and
followed it up with laughing and joking
with friends over coffee in the corner cafe.
None of them meditate, but they rejoice in
life, and consistently find ways to share their
joy with others. There was not an ounce of
fear or disharmony around the table.

And then I went home and logged onto FFL, and
it was like diving into a cesspool. I was
plunged into the words of 30-year meditators
who were advocating the use of nuclear weapons
on millions of people whose only crime was to
be born in a country and a culture the 30-year
meditators are terrified of. I read the words
of those who supported that stance for no other
reason than because it gave them another way to
slam someone on FFL they don't like. I saw again
the TMO's 'selective focus' in reporting the
'News,' and trying to take credit for those
selective reports, while distancing themselves
from the bigger stories they can't see because
of the blinders they're wearing, and have been
wearing for so long. I was reminded of the way
that the TMO deals with those who don't believe
what they're supposed to, and how some of these
same 30-year meditators here see absolutely
nothing wrong with that.

Suffice it to say that it was a real bringdown.
This morning the experience repeated itself.
Within moments I was right back in the shit
again, reacting and posting stuff just as
lowvibe as the things I was reading. I've now
deleted them.

Enough already.

My thanks to Rick for creating such a forum,
where people can do what they are not allowed
to do in the TMO -- express their doubts and
their questions along with their fervent beliefs.
At the same time, my apologies to Rick and
everyone here for my part in turning it into
a more contentious forum than it needed to be.

My thanks also to Kirk, Vaj, Jim, Tom T., Sal,
Dr. Pete, Rory, George, Paul, Michael, Shemp,
cardemeister, and all of the others who have
consistently demonstrated that one can survive
the TMO with one's spiritual hopes intact, and
with some sense of style. You have all posted
many great comments and experiences for me to
ponder, and I have.

I have also pondered the things that others
have said about my participation here, and have
come to the conclusion that they were correct.
I don't belong here; the nasty things that are
said get to me and all too often goad me into
participating in and perpetuating -- if not
deepening -- the nastiness. Kirk was right in
his decision to leave FFL, and for the right
reasons. He found many of the discussions here,
the way they are handled, and the mindset of
the 'handlers' too heartbreaking for him to
endure. He wisely moved on. I join him in that
decision, and in the quest for people who more
closely share my own sensibilities.

Road Trip time. I'm taking August off from
reading and posting to *all* of the Internet
forums I have been participating in, not just
FFL. With any luck I will not return to any of
them. Thanks to all here for being one of the
catalysts to make me realize that I need to
hit the road. I wish you all well in your own
travels, wherever they may lead you.


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