--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Sal Sunshine <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > On Sep 18, 2006, at 5:25 PM, authfriend wrote: > > >> So I'm wondering where you get the idea from that > >> it's normal, or even sort of normal, to wind up in > >> an institution after dealing with a spouse's death? > > > > I never even *remotely* suggested it was "normal" or > > even "sort of normal," and I haven't a clue where you > > got the idea that I did. > > OK, good.
"OK, Judy, I sure seem to have misunderstood you completely on a whole bunch of points." Then why do you keep mentioning her illness in relation to > her having lost Doug, as if one almost followed naturally from the > other? I believe I've mentioned it exactly twice. > It doesn't. In fact, from what I've been able to gather, > Debbie's condition, *if* brought forth solely or even mostly, by > Doug's death, would be somewhat rare. You kept trying to connect > the two as if it were far more common. That seemed to be clearly > your intention. I'm glad you've learned better. :) Let's see if you are able to learn better. I doubt it, but maybe, *just maybe*, this will help: My point in both cases had nothing whatsoever to do with how common clinical depression is or is not following the death of a spouse. We don't even know whether Debbie had clinical depression. We *do* know she became emotionally ill after Doug died. In both cases, the folks I was responding to appeared to be attributing Debbie's illness to her TM practice. My point was that before assuming someone's emotional illness was caused by their TM practice, we should ask whether there was anything *else* going on in their lives that might have been responsible. In Debbie's case, she had just gone through an extremely traumatic experience. Some people *do* fall apart after the death of a spouse; it isn't uncommon (in other words, although it isn't common, it isn't as rare as you suggest). That's why there are therapists who specialize in grief counseling, to help such people get themselves together again. If they're predisposed to depression, they may become clinically depressed. Or they could suffer from severe anxiety, or any number of other conditions. This is regardless of whether the marriage was "healthy." Any major trauma--and the death of a spouse usually constitutes such a trauma--can trigger a breakdown, even in apparently psychologically healthy people. There may be a chemical component, for example, or the person may have a weak spot in their psychological makeup that had never before been assaulted. Most likely, I should think, joining Mother Divine didn't help, if only because it wouldn't have given her the opportunity to grieve, which is essential for recovering from bereavement. She may have joined MD, at least subconsciously, to avoid *having* to grieve, since it wouldn't have been encouraged. Grieving isn't a fun process. She may have found her grief so overwhelming that she thought she had to find some way not to have to confront it. And she likely wouldn't have gotten a lot of help when she began to fall apart, either, however that manifested itself. I wouldn't be *surprised* if the extended TM practice in MD also helped trigger the breakdown, but I'll bet you a buck that joining MD was a symptom of a preexisting problem that proceeded to get worse because she was trying to escape it rather than deal with it. I also suspect giving away most of her money was another symptom. But bottom line, whatever went wrong with Debbie, one would want to *rule out* that it was triggered by Doug's death before automatically attributing it to her TM practice. That was the point I was making. To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
