--- In [email protected], "tomandcindytraynoratfairfieldlis" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Judy writes: > So when you claim the criticisms of others are > their own deepest, darkest, denied secrets, that > must mean what you're accusing them of is *your* > deepest, darkest, denied secret, right? > > Does the 12-step journey provide any insight into > how to spot and deal with infinite regresses? > > Tom T: > No judy not accusing just recognizing how it is. There is a > difference. But in the larger sense it is all just me talking to me so > there we have that old paradox again. Yes I am talking to myself and > it is all me. Get sober. That is what awakening or the big E is all > about. Monkey mind is drunk on its own power and rightousness. When > the monkey mind gets sober it is clear that in its wild search it has > always been obscuring the Truth of who I am. And it is and always has > been perfect. Tom > I've long been sensitive to the reality that what I criticize in others, I am criticizing in myself. However, I have also come to the conclusion that there is nothing wrong with that, assuming that I don't fall into the traps at either end of the continuum; either constantly criticizing, so that others then become responsible for making my world comfortable for me, or on the other hand, avoiding criticizing completely by constantly trying to justify other's transgressions and just 'eating it', so to speak.
There are also two other aspects of criticism I have become aware of. One is the distinction between criticism and condemnation. This has everything to do with how I treat myself. The other is to always be open to criticism myself- which is not to say I always agree with a criticism of an action of mine. However, it is important to me to always evaluate whatever it is that is said, vs. dismissing it out of hand.
