No, Amma wasn't caught in flagrante delicto. But she did participate 
in what I can only describe as a "scandal" and one best employed with 
the adjective "sexy".  But unlike this forum's allegations about 
MMY's extra-curriculars which are of the he-said-she-said category of 
rumors, Amma's scandal was filmed for the whole world to see.

I am referring to the DVD "Darshan" which I saw last week for the 
first time.  There was something in it that just didn't sit right 
with me.  "Darshan" is a documentary that follows Amma the Hugging 
Saint around various parts of India, including her Ashram, over a few 
months time…it was made by a French film crew a few years ago.

At one point near the end of the DVD, Amma is in a stadium of about 
25,000 people who all came for that delicious hug she gives and which 
is her signature trademark (well, she IS called the hugging saint for 
a reason).  And her people made a point of emphasizing that she only 
had a certain amount of time to be there.

So what did Amma and her organization do? Why, they actually put up a 
SCORE CARD of how many people she hugged!  There was an actual TOTE 
BOARD, just like in those PBS fund-raisers they Michael Flatley and 
Lord of the Dance or Joseph Campbell are showcased in order to get 
the largest possible response during pledge week…or that thermometer 
the United Appeal puts on the town square that fills up with red as 
each new plateau of funds raised is met.

Except this tote board didn't list money; the currency measured was 
HUGS!  And Amma wanted to get in as many as she could.  She and her 
crew seemed intent upon trying to beat some record (exactly whose 
record and what goal I'm not sure but seeing as she's the only 
hugging saint around, I guess she was out to beat her own record…what 
sports psychologists tell enthusiasts in non-team sports like golf 
call "competing with yourself").

And the whole record-breaking vibe was pumped up to the max because 
Amma wasn't doing her usual embrace (the preceding one hour of the 
DVD had documented normal-speed hugging).  No, along with her court-
side minions, TEAM AMMA shifted into mass-production gear.  Unlike 
the earlier recorded sessions, Amma the Pro performed a well-
rehearsed and well-choreographed lift and jerk for each poor soul 
that trotted up to the dais.  Amma and her accountants had 
precisioned the math and knew exactly how many complete cycles of 
body-embrace-eject-next had to be performed in the time allotted. Her 
followers had obviously paid attention in high school math 
class `cause they had the formula down pat: 

I'm sure the pre-game prep notes looked something like this:

T/H = WR 

T = Time Amma is in the stadium;
H= Number of hugs;
WR = World Record).

Man, she was huggin' em out at the rate of about 15 per minute.  Now, 
that's some massed-produced touchy-feely darshan working there, 
worthy of respect from the most jaded MacDonald's production line 
engineer.  Ray Kroc's McSlide Ruler holds nothing on Team Amma which 
can now proudly hang an "X billions hugged" sign under the Ashram`s 
arches.

Why have I called this a "scandal"?  Why employ the adjective "sex" 
to describe it?

Bad enough that Team Amma and its star forward Amma appeared 
interested in only performing for the camera and unabashedly 
abandoned even the faintest APPEARANCE of devotion or piety.  The 
worst part was what was so clearly their REAL motivation: cranking 
out the hugs in order to get into some sort of Spiritual Guinness 
Book of World Records.  Talk about an experience devoid of 
spirituality…all that the principles seemed interested in was getting 
as high a number on the scoreboard as possible…generating love or 
compassion be damned, let`s just churn out what, at minimum, can be 
defined as a hug and get on to the next warm body. Head `em up, 
move `em out Rawhide!

In a nutshell: the numbers on the tote board was virtually all that 
she and her Kool-Aid inner circle were interested in.  And that's why 
it seemed so scandalous to me.

And when they got the number they wanted (something like 25,000 but I 
can't recall the exact tally) Team Amma whooped and clapped like the 
cheerleaders in American Beauty.  This sporty mood generated another 
impression upon me: Kobi Bryant scoring a three-pointer from center 
court to beat the Knicks with 2 seconds left on the clock. 

But there was one final image this carnage of spiritual gluttony cast 
upon me.  And this last one also depicted a pro-basketballer: Wilt 
Chamberlain whose ultimate claim-to-fame in popular culture wasn't 
the numerous NBA records he broke but his bold and brass assertion 
that he had slept with 20,000 women during his lifetime.

And that's why Amma's "scandal" seems so SEXY.

Reply via email to