Kenny, Thank you for giving me an alternate viewpoint -- I need all the emotionally balancing stories I can get if I'm to give my intellect enough space to create some clarity. Your truth has at least somewhat slowed Ego The Ninny's ricocheting from stress knot to stress knot inside my cranium.
My personal movement karma is my own, and however it may swab my vision with an opaque pastiche of recriminations, I cannot gainsay anyone else's less tinted experiences. The very fact that the movement has lasted this long is a proof that it DOES do things rightly most of the time and doesn't trigger negativity in the minds of the true believers. So, all those "well handled" folks are going to naturally think my experiences are odd, rare, and my own doings for the most part. Hey, maybe I really pissed Bobby Warren off just before I told him about the donation, right? Maybe he lost a loved one just before I arrived. I didn't know jack about Bob. Kenny, I'm thinking you're telling the straight truth, and, yep, I'm not easily fitting it into my dataset of all things TMOish. In fact, I think it might be one of the most hopeful signs I've ever had about Hagelin and Morris. I should send them an apology, cuz I sure would've put money down that you'd have lost your badge. If J & B are lurking here, sorry! On the other hand, there's other stories like my own, much worse tales than mine actually, and the movement just never clears them up for us. You'd think that the movement would show all the records of the Kaplan money exchanges, get it all on the table, and show the world that it is completely above any suspicions. And, since it happened, Kaplan's karma was deserved, but hey, the movement had the karma too, eh? But we get what from the movement on this issue? Here's what we get: in the film Young Frankenstein we see Igor (Marty Feldman) with his hunchback being offered corrective surgery for his condition. Igor says, "What hump?" http://youtube.com/watch?v=jvrqoCCia_g What problems? We don ga no steeenkink problems! http://youtube.com/watch?v=HaxURLFn6jU The movement's course office makes these decisions all the time that are never explained to us. As an American raised personality, habeas corpus, until, you know, Bushco, was my common expectation whenever I've found myself restricted; I've expected to be treated as an adult and to have the grievances against me fully explained and that I would be given a chance to rectify, clarify, challenge, etc. The fact that the movement cannot be bothered in most instances to explain itself is certainly the "way of the corporate world today," but I gave my heart to the movement, it was a love affair, and the public face of the movement was as welcoming as Amma's hugs, and thousands of us bought into it and thought we'd arrived home where the heart is, that troubles would be dealt with, that none would be forsaken and tossed into the outer darkness. Like that -- romantically naive to the hilt was me. And now I have all the anger of a jilted spouse. My bad. I set myself up for it. Thank you, Byron Katie. But, really now, didn't we all have that expectation that Maharishi would be the kindest of gurus, the most understanding, the most forgiving, the most patient with stress ladened ignorance, THE ONE, you know? And, even if we knew he couldn't take the time to be a personal guru, we expected that the movement would be his manifest heart, right? Again, my own romantic claptrap here, but didn't most of us think this way when we first started out with the movement? Even those who'd love to have a good whack on the back from a Zen master's stick have found that the movement's whacks don't always come in a timely and proper fashion -- just when one's head is dipping in meditation -- but rather, that they come without proven merit. Of course, any corporation dealing with the masses will have to bear the travail brought to it by those who are several standard deviations from the marketing mean. The very smart and able, and the very dull and, well, goofy-assed, will be those who rub the movement with the most friction, and how they're treated will be the bookending of the movement's self-policing policy's spectrum. I may be one of the goofy-assed for all I know, and your experiences, not mine, are the norm. In fact, yeah, I am goofy-assed, but my point remains, the movement didn't know how to handle me such that I stayed in the movement -- nor did it know how to keep any of the others it's tossed -- including Kaplan with half a frickin billion dollar net worth and addicted to being a movement insider with access to Maharishi, including Chopra who sprang to international cred by delightfully fleshing out the movement's mystic bones for the masses, including Jerry Jarvis, including Charlie Lutes. Yet the movement showed tapes to all of us as Andy Rymer was telling Maharishi about his experiences, and the movement never quashed the hot blood blasting through our veins -- psychic adrenaline had been injected into us by the mere existence of poster boy UC Andy. Oooo, us too! Us too! Us too -- any second now -- we thought. Yet that bastard is an aggressive, stalking, demon-class, vampirish, pedophile whose psychological veins are filled with a most vile and manipulative ichor. (Sue me for slander, Andy, I dare you.) So much for Maharishi's expected ultimate and absolute insight into a person standing in front of him, and so much for our intuitions that we bought into the whole presentation. Thank you Andy for showing us all how easily a mask can fool anyone -- even the Beatle's guru, even all the people almost all the time, even . . . . . . . . me. And, just keepin it real here, I was a pushover for this. Hell, I thought Meadow Martin MacArthur Stokstad Smith was in CC. I bought special beads from Judy Robinson! Then, after being disillusioned by the movement, I was found laying on my back with a Filipino pretending to take chicken gizzards out of my body. Where's my room to complain, eh? I'm asking for it! I have yet to see the movement's footprint on the backside of Rymer -- no renunciation of his previously touted status. Chopra was erased, but Andy was shoved under the carpet. I'll bet that that tape of Andy at the mike might still be available for weekend local course administrators to use. So, no Kenny, despite how you were not stood up against a wall and given your last Ajurvedic cigarette for the crime of tossing rotten tomatoes, others have been. In Schindler's List, there's this Jewess who is really helping the Nazi's run the concentration camp efficiently, but she gets a bullet in the head on the spot for a minor infraction of protocol. Ask around the movement, see how many of us collaborators with the Hindu Reich have been similarly executed instantly. Keep in mind that no one can convert to Hinduism -- one is born into it or one is a caste-less outcast. Just how does Maharishi see us? Well, all women to one side of the room, rich folks sit up front, and if it isn't answered in the dogma, don't ask. Four decades of spirituality, and here am I, broken, bereft, and beleaguered enough to post this vitriol here. Here's the truth: for me to be where I'm at now, I must have been a monster when I started, eh? Or, wait....maybe..... Maybe TM never was, never will be, never could have been the panacea that was marketed to us. In this world, with the billions of us, why am I surprised that the movement was able to filter out the small percentage of us that would be self-duping? Shame on me for expecting otherwise, cuz, after 5,000 years of culture wide practicing of the Art of Guruing, India knows how to set up a spell casting business. I should have known. We were beset by hustlers whose spiritual schtick has been honed to perfection over EONS. Some days, it seems we all walked onto a used car lot. I got me a lemon clunker with sawdust in the crankcase. And, hmmmm, I'm still making payments on it. Edg --- In [email protected], nablusoss1008 <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > --- In [email protected], "Kenny H" <kennyhassman@> > wrote: > > > > --- In [email protected], Duveyoung <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > and yet, because I'm posting here, I'm willing to bet > > > that I cannot get a dome badge now. > > > > > > > Edg > > > > I used to post here fairly often, I was fairly critical about some > > things, and, in fact, I wrote letters to both Hagelin and Bevan > > telling them that I personally knew of instances where they had > slept > > with married movement ladies and did not appreciate their lording it > > over others while being deceitful themselves, even got responses > back > > from each of their assistants, and applied to go to Fairfield a few > > months ago when the big push was on, and was accepted to the > course. > > > > Kenny H. >
