Friend, Have you forgotten, The West Looted, Ravaged and Milked the
Eastern World for over 300 years.??
gullible fool <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Date: Sat, 5 May 2007 06:15:15 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: A Tale of Two Cows
You milk westerners.
--- ShempMcGurk <shempmcgurk@ netscape. net> wrote:
> INDIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
> Indian bureaucracy makes it impossible to open a
> business and sell
> milk.
> You emigrate.
> You become enormously successful like all Indians do
> once they leave
> India.
> You buy as many cows as you want.
>
>
> --- Jason Spock <jedi_spock@ ...>
> wrote:
> >
> >
> > A Midwesterner' s political Primer
> >
> > DEMOCRATIC
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > Your neighbor has none.
> > You feel guilty for being successful.
> > Barbra Streisand sings for you.
> >
> > REPUBLICAN
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > Your neighbor has none.
> > So?
> >
> > SOCIALIST
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > The government takes one and gives it to your
> neighbor.
> > You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
> his cow.
> >
> > COMMUNIST
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > The government seizes both and provides you with
> milk.
> > You wait in line for hours to get it.
> > It is expensive and sour.
> >
> > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
> cows.
> >
> > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > Under the new farm program the government pays you
> to shoot one,
> milk the other, and then pours the milk down the
> drain.
> >
> > AMERICAN CORPORATION
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an
> IPO on the 2nd
> one.
> > You force the two cows to produce the milk of four
> cows. You are
> surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an
> announcement to the
> analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing
> expenses.
> > Your stock goes up.
> >
> > FRENCH CORPORATION
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > You go on strike because you want three cows.
> > You go to lunch and drink wine.
> > Life is good.
> >
> > JAPANESE CORPORATION
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
> of an ordinary cow
> and produce twenty times the milk.
> > They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded
> trains.
> > Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
> >
> > GERMAN CORPORATION
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
> lots of beer, give
> excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an
> hour.
> > Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
> vacation per year.
> >
> > ITALIAN CORPORATION
> >
> > You have two cows but you don't know where they
> are.
> > While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
> > You break for lunch.
> > Life is good.
> >
> > RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > You have some vodka.
> > You count them and learn you have five cows.
> > You have some more vodka.
> > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> > The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
> cows you really have.
> >
> > TALIBAN CORPORATION
> >
> > You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are
> two.
> > You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
> creature's private
> parts.
> > You get a $40 million grant from the US government
> to find
> alternatives to milk production but use the money to
> buy weapons.
> >
> > IRAQI CORPORATION
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > They go into hiding.
> > They send audio tapes of their mooing.
> >
> > POLISH CORPORATION
> >
> > You have two bulls.
> > Employees are regularly maimed and killed
> attempting to milk them.
> >
> > BELGIAN CORPORATION
> >
> > You have one cow.
> > The cow is schizophrenic.
> > Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times
> he's Flemish.
> > The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
> > The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's
> milk.
> > The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
> > The cow dies happy.
> >
> > FLORIDA CORPORATION
> >
> > You have a black cow and a brown cow.
> > Everyone votes for the best looking one.
> > Some of the people who actually like the brown one
> best
> accidentally vote for the black one.
> > Some people vote for both.
> > Some people vote for neither.
> > Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
> > Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell
> you which one you
> think is the best-looking cow.
> >
> > CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
> >
> > You have millions of cows.
> > They make real California cheese.
> > Only five speak English.
> > Most are illegal.
> > Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
> >
---------------------------------
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