Lets assume Shemp is to get 72 virgins in paradise.
Here sir Shemp some incentives for you.
If you purchase carbon credits, you get 142 virgins.
If you prevent Global-Warming, you get 252 virgins.
If you promote Global-Cooling, you get 372 virgins.
If you protect the Amazon rain-forest, you get 462 virgins.
If you give Mexican workers a fair deal, you get 582 virgins.
If you prevent Pollution, you get 622 virgins.
If you protect endangered species, you get 742 virgins.
If you bring in Massive Solar - electricity, you 832 virgins.
If you usher in the Ram-Raj, the Golden age, you get a White Robe and a
Golden Harp.!!
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