--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Rory Goff" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj <vajranatha@> wrote: > > It's not necessarily a good thing to confuse future-self and present- > > self. > > See, this was part of the Awakening for me -- That Awakening to > viscerally realize That is the container of time and space, of the > illusion of evolution itself. Where it counts, time and space don't. As > the I I had been identifying with grew ever closer to surrendering to > the ever-present That, it became progressively more infuriated. It > became more and more clear that That is realizable only on That's > terms, not on the terms of the co-dependent arising llusion's.
yeah, I found my stories were growing encyclopedic in length and depth before they all fell apart. No one else was buying into them either. It was also really hard to do meditation since everytime I emerged from it, I was that much closer to the awakening reality I kept trying to deny. Oh well, so much for death, eh?:-) > > Obviously utter emptifulfillment lies in That, and only in That, and in > the surrender of the illusion into That, but to enter That, I cannot be > particularly special in That. I cannot be particularly unique in That. > I cannot be particularly esoteric in That. I cannot have "achieved" > anything at all in That. I can only be utterly ordinary in That, so > unspeakably ordinary as to be as ungraspable as That Thatself. This > emptifulfillment was rightly seen as a death-wound to (and by) the > codependent arising illusion. > > In His paradoxical embodiment of the sublime and the ridiculous, the > divine and the demonic, the special and the ordinary, MMY dealt me the > coup-de-grace, but His sword was so sharp that I had time to walk away, > time to weep and rage at the exquisite agony, before my head fell off. > > Not the Teaching I expected, not the Awakening I imagined, but instead, > the coup de grace -- the Cut of Grace. That's what severed the outward- > reaching ties of body, prana, mind, and Soul. The Cut of Grace, the > Graceful Cut. He had the Grace to put me out of my misery. > > :-) > Yes, completely unexpected and unimaginable at the time, and yet obviously perfect after the fact, for as you say, the Reality (vs the illusion) was/is in charge. PS I had always imagined a steady, orderly pregression through the seven states of consciousness as defined, ticking off each symptom in turn, then...ta da! Liberation- the angels sing, the lights go up and lo, I am enlightened!! Instead it was more like wearing a blindfold from the backseat inside a speeding car, rocked from side to side, occasionally tilting my head back to peer down my nose at a slit of sight out the window, glimpsing higher states, moving through dark tunnels and around blind curves, until the car crashed or evaporated or became me or something and I was left to blissfully exclaim, "Eureka!" :-)
