Hey, Curtis!

Yes, I feel the same way. It's been a great pleasure; these 
conversations with you and with Barry have made me look more closely 
at a lot of things, particularly the issue of balance and integrity. 
On further reflection, I see that from another angle I am yet again 
advocating the inward movement of transcendence,  -- pulling back 
from our projected discontents "out there" to their inward core "in 
here;" i/o/w moving from victimization and addiction to empowerment 
and sobriety. One of my favorite modern psychologist/therapists, by 
the way, is one that Tom T. introduced me to -- Anne Wilson Schaef. 
Her books, "When Society Becomes an Addict" and especially "Escape 
>From Intimacy: The Pseudo-Relationship Addictions - Untangling 
the "Love" Addictions, Sex, Romance, Relationships," beautifully 
unfolded the dynamics of Brahman as sobriety, without ever mentioning 
Brahman :-)

Happy Independence Day! *L*L*L*

Rory







--- In [email protected], "curtisdeltablues" 
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> Rory,
> 
> This interaction including Marek and Turq's comments on it has been
> one of the most fruitful for me on FFL.  I want to start by thanking
> you for taking the time for making such a detailed response.  I 
think
> I understand your points better and you drew good lines where we
> disagree. But the whole spirit of maintaining rapport that your post
> maintains is something I really appreciate.  Since we were 
discussing
> feelings a bit, I felt respected and that you genuinely desire to
> understand what I am saying.  Very cool and thank you for that.
> 
> I think the psychological model that you have found useful in your 
own
> life is being applied to mine. In my view it does not apply but you
> may be seeing something else. I do recognize that we all have blind
> spots which is what makes posting here so valuable.  I have learned 
a
> lot here.
> 
> When I left MMY it was not out of being disillusioned or feeling
> cheated by him.  It was a continuation of my interest in discovery
> that lead me outside his system.  If I felt hurt it was from my
> previous movement friends not understanding that I had not turned 
into
> the devil, but was positively enjoying other ways to view the
> experiences in meditation. It was naive of me to think it was 
possible
> to maintain discussions since I had viewed people who left the
> movement as "negative" when I was into it myself.  Through the years
> those friendships got replaced and I don't feel hurt by their
> rejection.  It was the only move they could make and stay as devoted
> as they were (and some are).
> 
> The reason I am not hurt my MMY is because he took me on a fantastic
> ride.  He was a bit manipulative and was "using" us, but this is not
> so uncommon for ambitious older people exploiting innocent youth for
> their own benefit.  I give him a pass that he probably believes most
> of his own rap, but I don't view him as the most honest guy in the
> world or saintly in any way.  I don't think he has much human
> compassion or capacity to respect and love other people as equals.  
I
> suspect this is a disorder.  So I don't think he has much of a 
choice
> in how he operates.  Should I be hurt if, as a frog, I get stung by
> the scorpion riding on my back? 
> 
> So I have made my peace and mostly enjoy the good things from my 
past
> experiences in the movement.  It made me a hell of a lecturer with 
so
> much public speaking experience and that has benefited the way I
> present my music act.  I am very glad that I spent the years 
rounding,
> so I have a grasp of what people are talking about with how 
compelling
> mystical experiences are.  Posting here with people with all sorts 
of
> versions of relationship with our past movement lives has been 
really
> healing for me.
> 
> I want to address one point you made in your post directly:
> 
> ME: > My criticism of MMY is not from feeling hurt by him. It is
> because I think he is wrong.
> 
> Rory:
> Yes, you do think he is wrong, and that you know better, and I am
> absolutely certain that you are right; that that is true. Our
> conceptual understanding/framework of what MMY has said is 
absolutely
> false. There's a simpler truth you have been articulating,
> where "enlightenment" and "ignorance" are utterly irrelevant,
> and "spiritual experience" itself is irrelevant, and your own self
> knows your own self best, and so on. These are some of the keynotes
> of "Brahman," which he also has talked about, as much as one can 
talk
> about the utterly indescribable :-)
> 
> Me:  I don't believe that I know better than MMY concerning human
> consciousness.  I have found some models more useful than his, but I
> am far from understanding human consciousness.  I consider the
> contribution of traditional practices to be valuable.  I think there
> are important contributions from more modern sources.  This is a 
life
> long fascination for me, and although I don't consider Vedic 
knowledge
> in any form to be a complete understanding of human consciousness, I
> respect its contribution to man's thought.  I think there are 
probably
> some more intellectual presentations and less commercially oriented
> ones than MMY's, but his was the one I studied in depth. In any 
case I
> don't resent that I view his perspective as flawed.  It was a 
stepping
> stone for me and I really enjoyed my life in the movement and was
> satisfied with my own experiences while in TM.  I just view them
> differently now.
> 
> Oh one more:
> 
> RORY: And I with you. FWIW, to me you are showing many of the 
earmarks 
> > of "Brahman" -- but I really couldn't care less, and I suspect 
you 
> > probably couldn't either. Great joke, isn't it?!
> 
> ME: I may not have gained the "enlightened" state that I dreamed of 
in
> my youth, but growing older has given me all the self knowledge I 
need
> to enjoy a great life.  I believe that the perspective I sought in 
my
> teens and 20's was really just the centered feeling of self
> actualization that years of living provide.  I am at home in the 
world
> and at peace with myself as a non cosmically conscious, ordinary 
guy.
>  It is more than enough and I am grateful for it.
> 
> Thanks for keeping the perspective insights flowing Rory.  I
> appreciate your openness and ability to discuss these topics in 
detail
> in a friendly way. Finally, any Borat reference makes me go "Wawa 
weee
> wa! 
> 
> 
> 

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