On Jul 24, 2007, at 3:01 AM, TurquoiseB wrote:
> > FWIW I still support my original premise: If we criticise another > > (particularly if the other isn't even present, and we're > > criticising them to a 3rd party), we generally *are* coming from > > a place of pain (hurt/anger), whether or not we are consciously > > aware of it at that moment. This is because we are "shoulding" > > all over them :-) -- expecting them to be other than they are, > > and judging them for not living up to our expectations of what > > they "should" be or do. All of this stems from the core belief > > and illusion that what we are criticising is outside of ourself > > -- a position that is fraught with addictive pain. Practicing a > > little Byron-Katiesque Inquiry will soon sober us up and show > > us otherwise :-) > > Now let me get this straight. This sobering up > and seeing things otherwise, that's something > that we "should" be doing? The question is, "How is doing 'the work,' Byron Katie- style, *not* fraught with addictive pain?" It seems to me that what Rory describes above is very much a form of moodmaking -- starting with the assumption that one *should* not be criticizing other aspects of ones Self and acting accordingly, *in the pursuit of a desire*.
IME it all boils down to how well you can embrace paradox, a paradox that embraces the absolute and relative considerations as well. Therefore you can have an absolute, detached perspective and still honor relative considerations--that's what 'holding the paradox' is. However repeating a known paradox, like parroting couple of maha- vakyas, isn't very honest nor is repeating some formulaic ideas from a new age advaita workshop. If you want to use paradox as a vehicle, try running through a couple hundred mahavakyas you don't already know an answer to or have discursive ideas about. Otherwise it just becomes a game of pretend or hide-and-seek.
In the above example, Rory is embracing absolute POV 'criticizing is projecting our own inner pain on others' and therefore taking an extreme POV, rather than embracing the paradox: all is one and assholes still exist. Because Rory takes an extreme, absolutist position, he falls into "accepting and rejecting" and therefore, polarities.
